Parvum Opus 364: Pen of Plastic

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

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Y-u M-y A-----y Be a W----r

Two people solved last week’s puzzle:

W--t g--s a----d the i------t c---s a----d F------k

is

What goes around the internet comes around Facebook.

I thought not capitalizing internet might throw some people off, but Pat Geiger and Dave deBronkart got it and chose to tell me about it. Dave said he didn’t really want another book to add to his stack but I talked him into it. Herb Hickman fooled around with “What goes around the idiots” and “What goes around the iconoclasts” because he said all our books are in Latin. I really need to clear out the bookshelves.

Pat received my extra copy of Postmodern Pooh by Frederick Crews. I’ve written about this book before, the brilliant sequel to the brilliant Pooh Perplex (1964). Crews satirized various schools of literary criticism extant in 1964, and 40 or so years later updated us on postmodernism, one of the tragedies of my one year of doctoral work. These books are essentials for every English major and for anyone who wants to understand the changes in the intellectual landscape in literary critique and in other fields such as sociology and history in the last few decades.

Dave received a book that’s too much fun to put on the bottom of his pile of necessary reading, The Ignobel Prizes, but now that I’ve sent the book off I don’t remember which volume it was. It doesn’t matter, it’s all good. The Ignobel Prizes are presented by Improbable Research every year for real and outstanding and silly accomplishments in science and literature. I attended one of the award ceremonies a few years ago at Harvard and I recommend it to everyone in the vicinity. Today, the home page for IR features a link to George Mason University’s Speech Accent Archive, with recording of various accents reading the same paragraph.

Pen of Iron

In the March 8, 2010 Wall Street Journal, Stephen Miller reviewed Pen of Iron: American Prose and The King James Bible by Robert Alter, which is about literary style, now generally ignored by the aforementioned postmodernists. Much of the great writing in America, and speech writing in the case of Abraham Lincoln, has been influenced by the KJV. If not a perfect translation, it is one of the most beautiful and moving pieces of writing in English.

Alter notes that the average American used to be familiar with the language of the Bible, but people today are not. It is a great loss, not only to style, but to comprehension, since so many people don’t understand the allusions and metaphors common in everyday English that came from the KJV (and from Shakespeare too).

This week I also happened to hear a discussion on TV that explained one of the linguistic religious mysteries. Maybe you’ve heard some preachers, often fundamentalists or Southern ministers, say “believe on Jesus Christ.” This was always a puzzle since normally we say “believe in” something. But there’s a reason for it. The Bible has a passage in original Greek, pistuein eis, which is closer to “believe on” or “unto” which means something more like believing into something, in the sense that true belief means you are really inside the object/subject of belief. It made more sense when the Ph.D. scholar on TV explained it.

Twisted Cliches

· From the web:

I love Miss Manners like white loves rice, or umm rather.. oh well I don't know.

Did the writer run out of steam after only 15 words (not counting “umm”)?

· From someplace on TV that I don’t remember, possibly LA Ink, my current reality TV weakness (and no, I don’t have any tattoos yet):

It’s not rocket surgery.

This is likely a purposeful combining of “rocket science” and “brain surgery”. Cute.

Odiogo

Dave DaBee turned me on to Odiogo, a technology for translating a web page into a digitalized voice. I installed the link on the blog page where I post Parvum Opus (http://cafelit.blogspot.com) and now you can listen to the weekly PO. It’s a little weird and more than a little imperfect, but it’s definitely functional and would be useful for someone with poor vision. You can also download it for podcast.

The voice is a man’s voice (which is more pleasing to me than a woman’s if it’s not me reading my own material). The intonation, the rises and falls within a sentence, usually sound natural. The voice rises just before a question mark. But it is automated so it can’t be perfect.

I listened to last week’s PO and it took about 9 or 10 minutes to get through the text, not counting the end matter which repeats every week, which might be another 10 minutes or so.

The beginning, with “W--t g--s a----d the i------t c---s a----d F------k”, is of course unintelligible, and I noticed “I’ve reed about cuts” instead of “I’ve read about cuts.”

The combination of the bad Russian writer plus the digitized voice makes for an interesting international SNAFU.

The loss of precision in a column about exactitude in language is acceptable until the technology is perfected, which may be never since some readings need a human mind. But most of the meaning can be gleaned by listening once, and with more, the audio Parvum Opus should be reasonably intelligible to most people.

Verbing It

The other day a neighbor who was repairing his front door said, “I’m hillbillying it.” I assume he meant something like jerryrigging (I know some of you say juryrigging), that is, kluging or doing a shoddy job. He’s the same guy who ingeniously tied an aerosol can horn device to his rearview mirror, presumably because his regular horn was broken. He is kind of a hillbilly who has a sense of humor about it, which is good because he doesn’t have the money to do everything up slick. He’s been chopping firewood all winter.

Maneuverable

The 2010 Old Farmer’s Almanac has a good article about manure with an etymology of the word (page 175). It actually comes from the same root as “maneuver” (manuoperare in Latin). It’s all about manual labor.

Interesting legal note from dict.org:

MANURE, Dung. When collected in a heap, it is considered as personal property, but, when spread, it becomes a part of the land and acquires the character of real estate. Alleyn, 31; 2 Ired. R. 326.

The online version has three quiz questions on the home page:

· In the Bible there is a reference to shields and bucklers. What are bucklers? - http://www.almanac.com/advice/question

· What word is that which by having a single letter transposed becomes its own opposite? - http://www.almanac.com/calendar/puzzle [Actually two letters will be transposed or switched with each other. You could look at it either way.]

· Where did the phrase "round robin" come from when referring to a letter? - http://www.almanac.com/advice/question

No prizes this time since the answers are right there. Would anybody like more quizzes?

The Old Farmer’s Almanac is also available for podcast.

BEFORE and AFTER

Note the new shirt design in CaféPress:

BEFORE AND AFTER

BEFORE is on the front, AFTER on the back. This design is shown on two shirt styles but can be put on other styles, except the dark colors, which can only be printed on the front.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

The executive order against tax-funded abortions is a fraud

Monday, March 22, 2010

Obama's executive order prohibiting government funding of abortion bears examination. Lawyers say an...

Undue process of law

Monday, March 22, 2010

Obama insisted that Americans don't care about Congressional process. He doesn't. This lawyer, this...

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ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Parvum Opus 363: Gullyfluff

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

W--t g--s a----d the i------t c---s a----d F------k

Did you k--w t--t y--r b---n o--y r---s the f---t and l--t l-----s and it d----t m----r if the l-----s in b-----n are j-----d up you can s---l r--d it p-------y!!

10….9…8…7…6…5…4…3…2…1…

Get it? How about this, which showed up yet again, on Facebook:

Did you konw taht yuor barin olny raeds the frist and lsat ltrtes and it doenst mtater if the ltters in bteewen are jmubeld up you can sitll raed it prfeeclty!!

OK, you can read this, because all the letters are there. I don't believe your brain reads only the first and last letters. If that were true, you'd have no problem with that sentence full of blanks, which I constructed to prove a point. While you can read the second sentence, you don't read it "perfectly" but you read it rather easily (despite the faulty punctuation also) because all the letters are there, and in the words of two or three letters they kept the middle letters in the correct position. Meanwhile, your brain is working to sort out the middle letters in the longer words. You are reading them, you can't block them from your vision, so your brain can use them. But if your eye and brain couldn't pick them up at all, you'd have that first sentence and the title.

Figured out the headline yet? Anyone who gets it will receive a book from somewhere in our bookshelves.

Old Words

Also gleaned from Facebook (but better than the spelling flim-flam) was The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man, which includes archaic vocabulary such as:

Admiral of the Red: A person whose very red face evinces a fondness for strong potations.

All-overish: Neither sick nor well; the premonitory symptoms of illness. Also the feeling which comes over a man at a critical moment, say just when he is about to “pop the question.” Sometimes this is called, “feeling all-over alike, and touching nowhere.” [I’ve read this, maybe in one of the Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries from the 1920s and ‘30s.]

Cat-heads. A woman’s breasts. Sea phrase.

Cupboard Love. Pretended love to the cook, or any other person, for the sake of a meal. My guts cry cupboard; i.e. I am hungry.

Cut. To renounce acquaintance with any one is to cut him. There are several species of the CUT. Such as the cut direct, the cut indirect, the cut sublime, the cut infernal, etc. The cut direct is to start across the street, at the approach of the obnoxious person, in order to avoid him. The cut indirect is to look another way, and pass without appearing to observe him. The cut sublime is to admire the top of King’s College Chapel, or the beauty of the passing clouds, till he is cut of sight. The cut infernal is to analyze the arrangement of your shoe-strings, for the same purpose. [I’ve read about cuts, though etiquette experts say cutting is unacceptable. But some people need to be cut.]

Dash-fire. Vigor, manliness.

Firing A Gun. Introducing a story by head and shoulders. A man, wanting to tell a particular story, said to the company, “Hark; did you not hear a gun? — but now we are talking of a gun, I will tell you the story of one.” [Note “by head and shoulders”, also a new one to me. Anyway, this is a useful technique.]

Gullyfluff. The waste — coagulated dust, crumbs, and hair — which accumulates imperceptibly in the pockets of schoolboys.

Gunpowder. An old woman.

Heavy Wet. Malt liquor — because the more a man drinks of it, the heavier and more stupid he becomes.

Month of Sundays. An indefinite period, a long time. [Still used, of course.]

Out of Print. Slang made use of by booksellers. In speaking of any person that is dead, they observe, ”he is out of print.”

Tune the Old Cow Died of. An epithet for any ill-played or discordant piece of music. [Used by A. E. Houseman in one of my favorite poems.]

A useful reference if you read anything published before the 20th century.

Indiglish

Chris Stephens wrote about bad selling techniques in his blog Minddynamite, but follow the link about how to learn to speak with a Middle Eastern accent. Chris also mentioned Indiglish (also known as Englian), which is what you get when you call a service tech in India. Sounds like it’s what you say when you’re indignant (or possibly indigenous). Anyway India is not Middle Eastern, it’s Asian. It looks like it’s in the middle of Asia, whereas what we call the Middle East looks like it’s Western Asia. Sort of like the U.S. Mid-West is really Mid-East.

I don’t think we have Middle Eastern service techs yet. Personally I don’t want to be hearing “Allahu Akbar” when I’m trying to find out why Yahoo Mail is screwing up again.

The Slow No

A Canadian caller to the Dennis Miller show said his mother had cancer and was being given the “slow no”, meaning delays in treatment, meaning no medical treatment. He brought his mother to the States for medical care.

From Vigilance to Completion

Since ancient times, monks have had regular hours for prayer, which are called:

Vigils: night
Matins: dawn
Lauds: dawn
Prime: 6 a.m., first hour
Terce: 9 a.m., third hour
Sext: noon, sixth hour
Nones: 3 p.m., ninth hour
Vespers: sunset
Compline: before bed

I went to camp for a week when I was a kid, where we had prayers at vespers, so that’s the only word of this list that fixed itself in my memory. I had to look up the rest.

Vigils: Of course we all know vigilant — wake, watch. The night watch makes sense.

Matins: From Matuta, Roman goddess of morning. Ever hear of her?

Lauds: Praises, like the song “Morning Has Broken”.

Prime: Obviously, number one.

Terce: Obviously, number three.

Sext: Ditto six.

Nones: Ditto nine.

Vespers: Means evening.

Compline: Related to Latin completa/completus.

Fred says he thinks Vigils may be Anglican. In Catholic monasteries, Vigil is the watch over the body of a dead monk before burial. Daily, after about five hours sleep, Lauds directly follows Matins and together they last about three hours. Prime, Terce, Sext, and Nones are about half an hour each. Vespers is long, and is followed by Compline.

Jobs You Can’t Get Anymore

Mike Sykes sent along another old poem from his stock, “I Was a Bustlemaker.” There probably are still a couple of bustlemakers around, though, making bustles for movies and theater companies.

Terms of Engagement

Ryan Scott Welch, in writing about controlling your own terms of political argument, said:

Never let them use "working poor" because that assumes that only poor people work.

That hadn’t occurred to me. I always thought the term distinguished between poor people who work and those who don’t, which makes another though equally valid point.

Marriage Agency Albatross

I received an e-mail from a Russian lady who wishes possibly to marry me, which I must decline, but perhaps some of you will be as charmed by her writing as I was (I can send you her e-mail address). Here are excerpts:

Hello my new friend!!!

Thanks you for a prompt reply!!!

Your electronic address, to me allowed in "Marriage Agency Albatross" my city which cooperates with sites of acquaintances.

For the certain payment of money to me electronic addresses of the foreign men, wishing to get acquainted with girls allowed.

I am interested in search foreign men as I do not like mentality of Russian men!!!

And you like mentality of your women?????

I can forgive much, but only not treachery and lie!

And you are capable to forgive treachery and lie????

I from Russia, live in village Kuzhener.

I was born January 22, year 1981, my growth of 169 centimeters, in family I the unique child.

I was not married, children at me are not present.

I have two higher educations, economic and legal.

I studied the English language at school and at universities.

I talk in English much better, than I write.

Mine favourite kitchen Russian and Italian.

My hobby, collection of ancient coins, and also I write poems.

Sometimes I like to run on fresh air.

In the childhood I was fond of art gymnastics and consequently I have beautiful appearance.

I do not smoke a cigarette, alcohol I use in small dozes, I love red wine and cold champagne.

With impatience I wait your answer, your new familiar of Russia!!!

Elena

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

About my March 16 item below on Obama’s promising 3,000% reduction in costs: It was rightly pointed out that this was a straw man argument since he probably just flubbed it or his teleprompter writer did, though he wasn’t thinking and the audience applauded. Nevertheless, I’ll put my straw man up against your straw man any day. That particular piece was quoted, much to my surprise, on Special Report with Bret Baier on Tuesday.

Health care is not like the Internet

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Internet is one reason Americans may be more open, more vulnerable actually, to a huge, hulking, centralized...
Obama says 3,000% lower insurance payments are possible

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Monday in Strongsville, Ohio, Obama said that if his health care bill passes, American employers could wind up...
Billions for projects stimulate more questions than jobs

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Below is a list of 102 projects to be funded by the stimulus package. There will be a lot more questions created by...
ACORN goes underground for the time being

Thursday, March 11, 2010

ACORN (Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now) is leaving Ohio. Maybe. The 1851 Center for...

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Parvum Opus 362: Set in Type

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

Herbal

Herb Hickman sent another headline to serve as a punctuation exercise for the rest of us, from the new-to-me web site "This Is True":

NEAT TRICK: "Man Shot in Chest, Leg Knocks on Door for Help" – Dayton (Ohio) Daily News headline

Reminds me of the boy whose arms were torn off by a tractor, who then managed to get back to house without bleeding on his mom’s new carpet and called for help.

Herb wrote more on Grabberwochy, the WWII parody Mike Sykes sent (who’s mentioned, by the way, in Harvard Magazine):

I waited more than a shortened month [February] for some volunteer common tater to common tate some explanation of "Grabberwochy." [PO 356] None has.

I know just enough to recognize that this Michael Barsley wrote with some knowledge of history and of geography and of jabberwocky, so is presumably not American. [Slap!] But with everything else, I google it and find he seems to be American, author of a lot of books going all the way back to the events surrounding Danzig that he seems to allude to in Grabberwochy. Definitely someone I should remember hearing about, and will now have a big curiosity about unless and until I find some of his stuff and read it.

I don't even find, nor do I know, anything in depth about Danzig.

My German prof was from the free city of Danzig, a teenager and language student there around 1940. Danzig was somehow not considered actually Poland, as I recall his story, at least not by Hitler. When Hitler treatied up with Stalin and savaged Poland, young Ulrich and other Danzig folk were considered German (by the Third Reich). Ulrich was drafted into the Luftwaffe. He didn't have much of a Luftwaffe career.

But he didn't reminisce and tell of it to be telling war stories. Ulrich was a language student, and the stories were language stories. The main thing Ulrich did in the Luftwaffe was to get captured and held prisoner — not in a prisoner of war camp but on a military base run by the yanks. Still just a teen-ager, he had some menial work assignments, in part making use of his English/German language skills.

At the base, the Americans attempted to control and direct the local Germans’ activities in large part through posting lots of signs to say you must not do this and that. A sign typically said in big bold letters, "DU MUSS NICHT . . . (blah, blah, blah)" Those were all language errors, but of course a little teen-age POW had no contact with anyone having the authority to make a correction. So when a sign said, "DU MUSS NICHT . . . (loiter in this area)", Ulrich would while away the afternoon loitering in that area. All he wanted was a chance to explain that "DU MUSS NICHT . . . " did not mean "YOU MUST NOT . . . " In German, the "nicht" simply nullified the "muss." What the sign said to every German on the base, was "YOU DON'T HAVE TO LOITER IN THIS AREA." And all those other signs just said you don't have to do this and you don't have to do that. If they wished to say you must not do a thing, they'd have to use the cognate of the English word "dare." "YOU DARE NOT . . . ," translated literally. "DU DARFST NICHT!" Alas, the yanks just looked at Ulrich as he insolently loitered in front of the sign that forbade that behavior. None ever confronted him over it.

He had to go to the U.S. and get a job teaching German for the Ohio State University, to get even.

Transparency

A guy on Facebook said he used to be complimented for his honesty and directness, but now he’s complimented for his transparency: “No wonder cars keep running into me in the crosswalks.”

Funny guy. But I also saw (again on Facebook) “transparent” used as an insult. Sarah Palin was attacked as shallow and transparent, meaning of course that the writer can see through her only to find bad things. Whereas the promised transparency of the Obama administrative dealings would be all good, if it had occurred.

Man-Made

Larrey Anderson, in “The Pathetic God of Environmentalism”, noticed something I hadn’t thought of before:

Their god is vulnerable because of the "pollution" (most specifically, CO₂ — a naturally occurring chemical compound) produced by human beings and our modern industrial society. This defilement of the atmosphere has caused (notice the gender used in the description) "man-made global warming."

Why not woman-made, I’d like to know? I’ve never heard even the most radical feminist complain about global warming being credited only to men. Or how about person-made or human-made global warming? (I know there was a flurry of concern about bovine flatulence contributing to global warming, but I think that idea has disappeared like flatus in the wind.)

Hath not a woman autos? Hath not a woman footprints of carbon;

is she not fed with the same inorganic food, hurt with the same tsunamis,

warm'd and cool'd by the same extremes of weather
as a man is? If we exhale, is it not carbon dioxide?

If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?
If we are like you in the rest, we will resemble you in that.

Jobs of Yesteryear

NPR has an interesting feature on obsolete jobs. Some of these are jobs I could and would do: lector, copy boy, typesetter. Actually, typesetters remain, but usually are the original authors of the manuscripts to be typeset, who type their manuscripts on computer. The typesetter just adds formatting code to the document file. The very first typesetters of movable wood type might be publisher, writer, typesetter, and bookseller all rolled in one. Computers plus the internet make it possible for anyone to do the same.

Incidentally, they say “lay type” on the web site. I’ve always heard “set type”.

Who do you say I am?

Johanna Markind writes about the practice of The New York Times and Washington Post in referring to Jesus Christ as Jesus but dropping the “Christ”, while referring to Mohammed as Prophet Mohammed. Does this mean anything? I don’t know if it’s a new policy, but implication is that Jesus is to be considered only as a historical figure; “Jesus” was the name of the man, whereas “Christ” means the anointed and refers to his divinity. Mohammed has never been considered a deity, but “the Prophet Mohammed” seems to specify “the” one and gives a nod to the sensibilities of Muslims in manner that’s not done for Christians. Or Jews, for that matter, since Moses, Markind says, is traditionally called "Prophet" or "Rabbeinu" ("our teacher”) by Jews.

Markind says:

The Times, the AP, and Reuters all have style manuals setting forth their policies about usage for proper names like "Jesus." Both the Times and Reuters manuals explicitly caution against using the term "Christ" when referring to Jesus because it is a theological term, "a title non-Christians would not give him," as Reuters' handbook says.

Similarly, the New York Times Manual of Style and Usage does not list "Prophet Muhammad" as an acceptable usage. It says only: "Muhammad. Use this spelling for the name of the prophet of the Muslim religion." Both Reuters and the AP Stylebook identify Muhammad as "Prophet," but neither explicitly states whether "Prophet Muhammad" is a preferred, disfavored, or neutral usage.

But it seems in practice the papers use “Jesus” and “Moses”, but “Prophet Muhammad”.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Unemployment extension shows government lacks confidence in economy

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The federal government has extended the period of unemployment benefits to 99 weeks. This is a bad sign for several...
Cincinnati does not need separate but equal languages

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Ohio was never part of Mexico, like California and Texas, and Ponce de Leon probably never got this far north....

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Parvum Opus 361: Jujubes

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

Jujubes

From Facebook:

>>))) "Thank god for statues of limitation."

Minimalist art? Then there are the statues of imitation, which are portraits.

>>))) “I do not go hunting. The word hunting implies a chance of failure. I go killing.”

This is from a Marine veteran. I like the precision.

From a crossword puzzle book:
>>))) Definition: “ferret out” = to uproot and drive out

I don’t think so. Someone must have been thinking of driving out ferrets. The meaning is actually to find through persistent investigation (maybe this is something ferrets are good at). Another rodent phrasal verb is “rat out” which means to squeal on somebody, to fink, to be a stool pigeon.

…by any other name would be a Tweet

Eric Cummings in Daily Writing Tips discusses what to call the things that people write and upload to blogs and other web sites. He feels that the traditional terms of publishing (e.g. “article”) are too formal but some of the newer Web-specific terms (e.g. “blog” or “blog entry”) sound too trivial.

If it looks like a duck online and quacks like a duck, call it a duck. It makes sense to use traditional publishing terminology for comparable pieces of writing online. Just as some airplane terminology was borrowed from the vocabulary of ships — boarding, crew, captain, even airship — newer forms of publishing may sometimes reasonably borrow the language of older forms of publishing, if the content is parallel.

Parvum Opus began as e-mail, but I never considered it a personal letter, though some e-mail is personal communication. I considered it something like a newspaper or magazine column, though not an “article” since each issue is part of a series on a related theme, the English language. “Column” comes from the physical layout of a newspaper or magazine where parallel blocks of text are laid out on the page. Web pages and even e-mail can be laid out in parallel columns. Later, when I started posting PO to two blog sites, I still considered it a column. Only the appearance changed, not the content or intent.

Carrying Baggage

I had suggested adding an apostrophe to:

Courtesy Storage of Passengers

Baggage is Not Permitted

Thus,

Courtesy Storage of Passenger’s

Baggage is Not Permitted

Bill Roberts suggested Passengers’, making it plural. Mike Sykes also questioned my apostrophic suggestion: “It might [help], but is that really where you would put it?” OK, I concede that the singular “passenger’s” would not be the best solution.

Bill then added, like the saucy minx he is:

“Officer, that baggage ran off with my luggage!”

“Baggage” isn’t used much any more to mean a pert girl or a prostitute. Nowadays a person with baggage is one with too many emotional attachments to the past.

He also contributed this regarding the scarlet letter:

From the 2009 Bulwer-Lytton contest, runner up in the Historical Fiction department:

On a fine summer morning during the days of the Puritans, the prison door in the small New England town of B----n opened to release a convicted adulteress, the Scarlet Letter A embroidered on her dress, along with the Scarlet Letters B through J, a veritable McGuffey's Reader of Scarlet Letters, one for each little tyke waiting for her at the gate.

By Joseph Aspler, Kirkland, QC, Canada

Now there was a piece of baggage.

Warming Wishes

Mike Sykes wrote about global warming:

You might like to consider that the vast majority of deniers/skeptics are not climatologists and many are not professional scientists at all.

The vast majority of human-caused global warming acolytes are also not climatologists or scientists. And as Herb Hickman, scientist, remarked here recently, you don’t have to be a scientist to venture an opinion even in a professional journal. Also, many scientists are following the grant money. Science is influenced by politics as well.

Moreover, when errors have been trumpeted, responses have often been played down (or do you prefer "downplayed"?).

In the US, “downplayed” is probably more common. As for errors, what I can no longer avoid calling the mainstream media has only recently reported errors and chicanery on the part of the IPCC.

Inevitably Dave

The inevitable Dave DaBee said he doesn’t inevitably hear "redistributing wealth" in the company name Saalfeld Redistribution. I guess I read more about politics, while Dave is doing more useful stuff with his time under the name Dave DeBronkart.

He also asked, “btw, what is ‘evitable’? What is ‘evit,’ other than the root of ‘e-vite’?” The Latin roots mean un + avoidable, probably related to “evade” also. Dict.org lists the word “evitable” but gives no example of usage. I guess it’s one of those words with no natural positive companion (like “disgruntled” has no “gruntled”); I’ve never heard or read “evitable” and I’d advise against using it.

Unhand That Pancake!

On a local radio cooking program, Marilyn Harris said that every country has its own form of cooked dough, like crepes or tortillas, and that our version is pancakes, “which of course we stole”.

Now hold on a minute. The English make the pancakes we’re familiar with and have for a long time. When they settled in America, did they steal pancake recipes from the Indians? I think not. I think they remembered how to cook them. Their ancestors pounded grain on rocks and cooked pancakes in the fire like everyone else in the world. When the Mexicans moved (or stayed) north of the border, did they steal tortillas? Did the Cajuns steal crepes? Did the Jews steal latkes? Did the Russians steal blinis? WE Americans brought all kinds of recipes along to the new world.

“We stole pancakes” sounded like an automatic verbal tic from someone who thinks “we” (meaning Americans of English extraction and maybe the British Empire before us) “stole” everything from all the other poor benighted people in the world.

I interpreted her remark this way because of all that political reading. “Which of course we stole” has a familiar ring, and she wasn’t talking about swiping a recipe from a restaurant or a neighbor, or even figuring out a recipe.

Corex: World in a Grain of Silicon, Not Silica

Herb Hickman wrote a lot about silica:

For the record, before it goes to join all the spent ascii code in the cybercemetery*, that grain is a tad confusing. Silica, remember, is the oxide of silicon, silicon dioxide, familiar to all of us as the beach sand and also quartz and I think flint too. And let us not forget cristobalite. At your wedding was a stern but kindly old uncle** who revealed that he, his company or himself, was the manufacturer or producer of a substantial portion of the world's cristobalite. That I was familiar with. Quartz and the much rarer cristobalite and tridymite are the crystalline free silicas that cause the industrial lung disease silicosis, which has hastened the death of many a worker.

Fascinating in its own right, we take our children to the beach to play in the countless tons of silica there, while restricting silica in the workplace air to extremely small concentrations as it is measured. The devil is in the size of the particles. Those big grains of sand are absolutely incapable of passage through the upper respiratory tract into the terminal bronchioles and alveoli of the lung parenchyma. Grinding in a casting plant or in many other situations makes super fine crystalling silica particles, which by virtue of small size can negotiate the twists and turns of the upper respiratory apparatus and reach the deep lung tissue.

Then bad things can happen. In those deep lung chambers hang out some special cells called pulmonary macrophages. You've instantly recognized*** that means something like "big eaters of the lung." When a hapless airborne bacterium happens to make it all the way into that deep lung tissue, in most cases it will be swallowed by a macrophage. Engulfed is a better word than swallowed. The interior of the macrophage is hell. In there are digestive enzymes that do indeed eat that bacterium in short order, unless it's one of the few varieties that resist. And that's as it apparently should be.

But when a pulmonary macrophage ingests a particle of crystalline silica, it is the macrophage that commonly dies. And ruptures in the process, releasing those powerful digestive enzymes. And the enzymes don't know whether they're still in a macrophage or not. They just digest, probably chop up proteins they encounter for a while. The delicate lung tissue forms scars -- which means it thickens and toughens -- a process that makes difficult the exchange of gases between the air spaces and tiny blood vessels. On which life is dependent.

So a grain of silica is worthy of study, it don't store any information. For that you need tiny structures of silicon -- not silica and not silicone. Silicon is a hard mineral which -- especially with certain impurities present -- exhibits semiconductor behavior. Silicon is an element, the second most plentiful element in the earth's crust. And after highly technical design and processing, is used to make "chips" that make most all computers work. I don't know if it comes in grains or not.

Thank you for the clarification.

* What does silica or silicon have to do with ascii code?

** Ha.

*** I did.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Adopt a Legislator Constitution Seminar in Columbus

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

Adopt A Legislator Constitution Seminar, sponsored by Homemakers of America, will be held Wednesday, March 31,...
Tiger Woods: Medical, Legal, Personal, or Moral Judgment?

Sunday, February 28th, 2010

In today's Cincinnati Enquirer, two unrelated items popped out and landed on the floor together: "experts...
"Reconciliation" means political finagling

Tuesday, February 23rd, 2010

Mike Wilson (Founder, Cincinnati Tea Party and Candidate for Ohio Representative, District 28) clarifies...

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.