Thursday, April 15, 2010

Parvum Opus 367: A Little Latitude, A Little Attitude

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

A Little Latitude, A Little Attitude

John McCarthy has an explanation of why we say “give him some latitude” (meaning to give someone some slack, some scope, some room, some space, let him be):

One degree of latitude is a long way, but one degree of longitude is vanishingly small near the poles.

You can see this on a globe. If you start at the North Pole and move south through the latitudes, they are separate by equal degree measurements. But because we measure longitude at the poles, all the imaginary longitudinal lines converge at the poles so you could step on all of them at the same time (just like you can stand in four states at Four Corners Monument where Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, and Utah meet; not much latitude or longitude at that point). At the equator, the lines of latitude are spread apart to their maximum. So if you give someone latitude, you always give him more room whereas giving someone longitude depends on where you are.

I used to have trouble remembering which was longitude and which was latitude, because the lines of longitude go up and down but the measurements between them go around the globe, while the lines of latitude go sideways (laterally) but the measurements between them go north and south. Remember that the words refer to the imaginary lines of measurement.

Allow me to gracefully segue into a dissertation on the use of the universal “him” above. I did not write “give her some slack” or “give them some slack” or “give one some slack”. I reverted to the ancient generic sense of “him”. Theodore Dalrymple writes about this in “Feminist censorship and language reform”. He says he himself avoids using “mankind” and similar words, because he’s noticed that editors may be revising the word in manuscripts to “humankind” or whatever they want without asking the authors. This is a bad practice. A writer should be queried about an editorial change of this sort. An editor may correct spelling or punctuation without asking, and even then, only with care. But larger matters of style, which in this case are also matters of content, should be discussed.

Two other matters of politically correct language leapt off on my desktop this week.

A news story:

Blasphemy laws not enough, Pakistan also using alcohol laws to persecute Christians

One of the many defects inherent in Sharia, aside from those enshrined in the letter of the law, is how readily it lends itself to further exploitation and abuse, particularly of those already marginalized under its sway.

As you probably know, Islam prohibits drinking alcohol, and although Muslims might do it anyway, which usually happens with this kind of law, it’s a convenient stick with which to beat Christians in Muslim countries, where Christians are indeed “marginalized” as prescribed by sharia law. My issue is with the word “marginalized” which we hear constantly applied to people or groups of people who are not at the top of whatever heap you care to name. Let’s look at the word “margin”. You can see margins at the edge of this screen and of every printed page. Margins are necessary to make reading easier. In some cases, they may contain useful information such as page numbers and footnotes. It’s a weak metaphor for “poor” or “not powerful”. But furthermore, throughout the entire history of the entire world, most people are not at the top of the heap. Pure physics prevents it. Most people are not powerful. If everyone had power, the world would be crazier than it is. And absolutely equal distribution of cash or goods could never be a stable condition, because people do not envy only quantity, they envy quality or even simpler distinguishers. For instance, imagine that everyone in the world has a 2010 Hummer, but they have different colors. Someone with a taxicab-yellow Hummer might want a silver one. So wouldn’t it be a simple matter for them to trade vehicles, assuming the other person would accept the yellow one? No, because some people would want another car only because another person had it, not really caring about the color; and some people would want two cars, or three; and some would want to own and distribute all the cars. Because with a lot of people, it’s about power, not about reality.

The third censorship issue is just plain crazy. Burger King ran an ad where the King goes on a rampage because of the insanely low burger prices, sort of like the Crazy Ed type of car lot ads. Some people and mental health organization types find this deeply offensive to the emotionally, mentally, and psychically challenged. Some years ago there were people objecting to the Ernest T. Bass character on the old Andy Griffith comedy show. Ernest was definitely not quite right in the head, bless his heart, but he was part of his community, though the community drew a line at dangerously unacceptable behavior. The clip above highlights typical Ernest T. behavior and also shows how ordinary people talk about people who are fat or homely. You don’t of course, but some people do. They talk about people and it’s not always flattering. I’ll cop to a touch of insanity myself. Call me crazy.

Gleams and Tears

Charlie Moyer quotes “The preacher came by with a tear in his eye” instead of a gleam in his eye, which was what I remembered. “That Old Mountain Dew” is the kind of song that can be varied and added to indefinitely. I replied, “I guess it depends on the preacher” and Charlie wrote, “Or how much Mountain Dew you do, he do.”

Pompatus Explained

I’ve always loved Steve Miller, the joker/smoker/midnight toker. Saw him in concert in Akron long time ago. Perhaps you too have been pondering the pompatus of love at midnight for decades. Someone found the source and shared it in a Facebook thread. An R&B singer named Vernon Jones, who sang with the Medallions in 1954, liked to make up words, and Miller may have morphed “pulpitudes” from the song “The Letter” into “pompatus”.

A Small Problem Solved

Here’s a solution to a little problem that many of you probably already know, but it could be one of those simple things that you haven’t discovered yet and no one ever bothered to explain.

As tedious as it is to read at length on a computer screen, reading online can be even more difficult because of its formatting, or lack of it, when the lines stretch all the way across the screen, making text harder to follow. This, of course, is why newspapers and magazines, with pages usually bigger than book pages, are laid out in columns instead of single blocks of text. It’s easier and faster to read.

The online problem is easily fixed, however. If you click on the little box at the upper right-hand corner of your screen – not the X that closes the window and not the minus sign that sends it to the foot of the screen, but the single or double boxes in a box – it may not look like your screen has changed, but it has.

If there’s a single box in the box between the X and the minus, the window will grow to its maximum size if you click on it. If there’s a double box in a box and you click on it, it will change to a single box in the box. The window may or may not change sizes too at this point, but whether or not it does, if you move your cursor to any corner of the window, the cursor will change to a double-headed diagonal arrow. When you see it, hold down the left mouse button and drag the cursor to move the corner of the box up, down, sideways, or diagonally. You will be able to change the size and proportions of the window. A double-headed arrow cursor at the right or left of the window will let you make the window wider or narrower, and the same cursor at bottom or top lets you make the window taller or shorter.

If you make the window narrower, in most cases the paragraphs will become narrower and the lines will wrap or break more often, making it easier to follow along the shorter lines. When you’re done reading, you can easily reverse the process by clicking on the box within a box again to go back to the full-size window. This method also works when you’re reading or writing in Word.

In some cases, the paragraphs will be chopped off instead of re-wrapping with new line breaks. This has to do with poor formatting and there’s not much you can do about that, other than try to slide the screen left or right.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Don't believe everything you see at Tea Parties

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Thousands are expected at today's Tax Day Tea Party in Cincinnati, along with special speaker Sean Hannity....

E-mail

I found out what my e-mail problem is, and my old mail is still there, but so is the problem. However, the rck@keithops.us address still works.

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

* The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

* A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

* The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

* Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

* Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

* Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

* Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

* Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Parvum Opus 366: Alives, Revivals, Survivals, and Arrivals

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

E-MAIL CHANGE

Something is wrong with one of my Yahoo mail accounts, and for now (maybe forever) I will be using this e-mail address: keithops@gmail.com. If you sent me something in the last week and I didn’t answer, please re-send it.

This and That

· Overheard somewhere:

The smell of coffee resonates throughout the whole house.

I like my coffee the way I like my men: loud.

· One episode of the TV show “Most Shocking” features:

Naked partner gets trampled by a bull; prostitutes do battle; police pursue college coeds streaking through city streets.

Other episodes are similar. The program is classified as Learning in the program guide.

· Japanese product label:

Spring! Flesh man and women bigin new life.

· From Improbable Research:

A Vancover bakery sign reads: Please be advised that our Bread Slicer is used for both Organic and Conventional items.

Apparently the bakery is trying to avoid lawsuits by people allergic to Conventional items. What happens if those people breathe the same air as Conventional people?

· Random bit of paper on my desk:

The preacher came by with his head heisted high.

Of course this is from “That Old Mountain Dew” but I was struck by the spelling (and pronunciation) of “hoisted”. No doubt it’s the same as “heist” meaning theft. There are any number of verses to this old song, but this one goes:

The preacher came by with his head heisted high

Said his wife had come down with the flu

And he thought that I ort

Just to give him a quart

Of that good ol’ mountain dew.

The version I learned at my mother’s knee goes, “The preacher came by with a gleam in his eye”. (You know what “ort” means, don’t you? And mountain dew, for that matter?)

· A Texas man calling in to the Dennis Miller program about secession, which the Texas state constitution permits, said:

We might could do better

I’ve written about this colloquialism before but seldom hear it in Cincinnati.

· Not sure where I found this:

The hypothalamus plays a major role in the regulation of basic biological drives relating to survival, including the so-called four Fs: fighting, fleeing, feeding, mating.

Sounds like a poorly thought-out eufemism.

Navigational Query

We’re all familiar with the expression, or its variations, “You have to give him a lot of latitude.” The question is, why not longitude? Would any sailors out there happen to know the answer?

Alives, Revivals, Survivals, and Arrivals

Mike Sykes wrote about the subjunctive:

A fascinating subject. As you know by now, the only source for which I have much regard is Fowler, that is to say the three editions of 1926, 1965 (revised by Ernest Gowers, also author of Plain Words) and 1996 (edited by R W Burchfield, also editor of the OED). The first starts with:

The word is very variously used in English grammar ... and distinguishes four types of use:

  • Alives, i.e. uses that are still in our natural form of speech. E.g. "Come what may", "If he were here now."
  • Revivals, i.e. antiquated uses revived for poetic effect or some other special purpose. E.g. "If ladies be but young and fair." *
  • Survivals, i.e. uses formerly natural but now falling into disuse. E.g. "Do not ring unless an answer be required."
  • Arrivals, i.e. incorrect uses due to growing unfamiliarity with the idiomatic uses of the mood. This has five subtypes.

In conclusion he says:

The conclusion is that writers who deal in Survival subjunctives run the risk, first, of making their matter dull, secondly, of being tempted into blunders themselves, thirdly, of injuring the language by encouraging others more ignorant than they to blunder habitually, & lastly, of having the proper dignity of style at which they aim mistaken by captious readers for pretentiousness.

I think that's beautifully put. Burchfield more or less rewrote the whole article, beginning:

The subjunctive mood is one of the great shifting sands of English grammar. He goes on to refer to the 156 pages on the subject in the "standard reference work on historical English syntax" by Vissar. He concludes his general comments with:

[I]t is seldom obligatory, and indeed is commonly (?usually) invisible because the notionally subjunctive and indicative forms are identical. **

Returning to your example, Burchfield points out that in such cases "a putative should + infinitive" is used. So if your interpretation is correct, the writer could have made it clearer by saying “I think it’s very important that everyone should like me.”

* Actually I don’t know whether this is a revival, survival, or something else, but it is not uncommon to hear something like “He be trippin’” among black Americans. I don’t know if this is supposed to indicate a subjunctive voice or mood, but it can hardly be because they’re not familiar with the indicative (“He is trippin’”). This is discussed as a characteristic of black speech but I don’t know that it’s completely explained. Maybe it is, as suggested, a holdover from an ancestral language.

** This is probably why people so often make mistakes with it.

  • “If I was rich” instead of “If I were rich”
  • “If you were rich” would be the same in the subjunctive and indicative (i.e. “You were rich before the crash”), so “If you was rich” will always sound subliterate, whereas “If he was rich” does not.

So:

  • I was, if I were;
  • you were, if you were (indicative and subjunctive, singular and plural, always the same);
  • he was, if he were (also she, it, one);
  • we were, if we were, always the same;
  • they were, if they were, always the same.

You only have to remember the first and third persons singular subjunctive.

About Zed and the ELCC:

Any proposal to establish an ELCC [English Language Central Commission] would be laughed out of court. The Académie française is not an encouraging precedent. They feel patriotism requires them to invent new words rather than use those of others. It's not just that they don't like words such as rosbif and smoking, but they go inventing words such as logiciel. What they use for firmware, malware and so on I've no idea.

"Europeanized"? Think you'll beat us to it? Ha. I see little movement in either case. By the way, don't you all call "Z" Zee?

Yes, we do, but I felt like a zed last week.

The best April fool jokes I've even known were the Guardian's in 1977, and the BBC's report on the spaghetti harvest, way back in 1957.

I recall the spaghetti harvest, but the Guardian’s 1977 article on San Serriffe is new to me. It was about a little nation called San Serriffe consisting of two islands, the Caissa Superiore or Upper Caisse and the more southerly Caissa Inferiore or Lower Caisse. A must-read.

Conditional

Daily Writing Tips has an article about a common misuse of the conditional (not to be confused with the subjunctive). Example:

“If you happen to be in the area, we will be at Meehan’s Ale House. So stop on by.”

The logic here is, we will be at Meehans’ [only] if you are in the area, which is unlikely; are they calling back and forth about this possibility? What is meant is, “If you happen to be in the area, remember that we will be at Meehans’” or “If you happen to be in the area, stop in Meehan’s because we will be there.”

This is kind of a lazy mistake, one that I have made.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Note: This short article got a lot more hits than anything I’ve written.

Women march for nudity in Portland

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

At first glance this seemed like a silly and pointless, no pun intended, demonstration: a couple of dozen women...
Keep Reading »

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

* The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

* A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

* The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

* Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

* Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

* Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

* Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

* Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Parvum Opus 365: Viewed Through the Teeth of My Very Own Comb

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

Subjunctive Meaning

Cartoon diva Agnes said to her friend Trout:

“I think it’s very important that everyone likes me.”

Notice that she did not use the subjunctive voice, which was probably intended. It changes the meaning. In this sentence, she’s saying that everyone does like her, and that’s important. The subjunctive would be:

“I think it’s very important that everyone like me.”

This means that it’s important to her that people like her, but they don’t necessarily, and this is most likely true with Agnes.

People often misuse the subjunctive or don’t use it when they should. I don’t know if they’ve stopped teaching it in school or it doesn’t matter that much to people because usually the meaning is clear enough. We often say, “If I was rich…” instead of “If I were rich…” and the “if” signifies that this is a conditional statement. But sometimes the use of the subjunctive can change meaning, which is why it exists.

Vigilant Mike

Mike Sykes followed up about “vigil”:

“The eve of a festival or holy day, as an occasion of religious observance. A devotional watch, esp. the watch kept on the eve of a festival or holy day; a nocturnal service or devotional exercise."
I have a photo print of Edward VII [d. 1910], autographed (in pencil) by George V "in remembrance of your vigil". It was presented to my grandfather who was a Yeoman of the Guard.
In days of old, it was customary for a squire to keep a vigil on the night before he became a knight.

Coincidentally, I had just read about the 1936 death of King George V in Thrones and Dominations, a book outlined by Dorothy Sayers and completed after her death by someone not as good. I assume the historical description is fairly accurate, though. After the King’s death was announced, many people dressed in black for mourning as they would for a family member.

About “working poor” Mike commented:

The article could be retitled as "How to win an argument when you don't have a case"….It assumes that some poor don't work. Like the idle rich.

Some poor work and some don’t. Likewise, probably most rich people work, while not so many inherit wealth.

Viewed Between the Teeth of Her Very Own Comb

Found on Facebook:

those scientific professor types dont understand a lot of stuff about life.. even if it's right in front of them .. I married an engineer and I just have to love him as he is without taking the worlds ideas of what is right or wrong and just love him like he's normal. It works pretty well as he's a babe in the woods at life too..~! It's hard to find a truely innocent man.. What a joy he is when viewed between the teeth of his very own comb..

We've had twenty good years and his silvery hair is growing so thin that soon he won't need that comb! :-}

I just had to ask this person if “viewed between the teeth of his very own comb” is an old expression or if it was personal. She said,

Rhonda as to the teeth of his own comb, i made it up right then. I was thinking of an old timey semi clear clearcomb right then and it just sort of came out.. it happens sometimes when we write, doesnt it ?! :-)

Oddly enough, this person belongs to a Facebook page for Correct Spelling, Punctuation and Apostrophe Use. But she’s a good writer despite her own punctuation etc. I’m trying to get a fix on the comb phrase so I can apply it with some general meaning. It’s too good to forget.

Zed

Daily Writing Tips said the English Language Central Commission has decided to remove the letter Z from the English language. It took me a while to remember that it was April First. Meanwhile, I was searching for the ELCC, but thankfully there is no such thing. Not that there couldn’t be. The French have their AcadĂ©mie française and once we’ve been thoroughly Europeanized, who knows?

Unsuccessful Treatment of Writer's Block

Improbable Research has recognized the research on writer’s block. It won’t take long to read the report.

China Smack

A web site called China Smack lists various acronyms, slang, and other expressions commonly used on the Web by Chinese speakers/writers (some obscene). I don’t know how useful this could be to most of us, and I have no way of knowing how to pronounce anything, but here’s one interesting entry:

[rénròusōusuǒ / ren2 rou4 sou1 suo3]
noun./verb.
“Human flesh search” or “human flesh search engine” is the Chinese name for when people work together on the internet to find information for a common goal. To “ren rou”
is a verb
.

China Smack also has reader comments on Google’s decision to leave the China market.

The Naming of Flowers

The 2010 Old Farmer’s Almanac has an article about plants that were named for people, along with a sidebar about Carl Linnaeus, who said, “If you do not know the names of things, the knowledge of them is lost, too”:

Nicotiana: Jean Nicot

Begonia: Michel Begon

Magnolia: Pierre Magnol

Plumeria: Charles Plumier

Camellia: Georg Joseph Kamel

Kalmia: Pehr Kalm

Gardenia: Alexander Garden

Wisteria: Caspar Wistar

Forsythia: William Forsyth

Kerria: William Kerr

Poinsettia: Joel Roberts Poinsett

There should still be time to pick up your copy of the Almanac.

Special

In an old copy of Mental Floss (Sept.-Oct. 2007), an article about Gypsies in Romania illustrates the great difficulty journalists have in expressing anything with accuracy or truth.

The Gypsies, or Roma, have a long history in Europe. The article sub-head reads, “From Self-Segregation to Institutionalized Racism, Why Bulgaria’s ‘Gypsies’ Have Struggled to Integrate.”

The article elaborates on how the Roma don’t try to assimilate into the cultures of the countries they live in, don’t speak the languages of their host countries fluently, and this is by choice, and the values of the Roma are not always the values of Western countries, but somehow that’s translates into “institutionalized racism”, on the part of everyone but the Gypsies, of course.

Along the same lines, this week I happened to be talking to someone who has a friend who’s taught in Hawaii for many years. Back in the ‘80s she taught native children who were always placed in “special needs” classes even though they were as intelligent as the other children in public schools, but they couldn’t pass the IQ tests. As it turns out, the native children grow up speaking their native Hawaiian tongue and really don’t learn English until they enter school, so of course they have “special needs”. But this phrase is a euphemism for retarded. Yet it sounds as though the children are victims of “institutionalized racism”. I can hardly bear the word “special” in almost any context, it’s become so weasely.

Anyway, the Mental Floss writer admitted that “to be fair, not all of the blame for Bulgaria’s ‘Roma problem’ should fall on racism or discrimination”. The Roma “protect their culture” which means not learning the other language, so they can’t get many jobs, etc. But if they really wanted jobs, they’re bright enough to figure out what’s required. Journalists are often so intent on twisting any story to fit the standard ideology that they can’t see what’s in front of their faces.

NOW: Kindle for PC, Mac, BlackBerry, iPhone, Tablet Computers

Although I’ve published half a dozen books, stories, and articles for Amazon’s Kindle reader under the name Rhonda Keith, I haven’t yet bought a Kindle myself. I’m waiting for the price to drop, and I’m not sure how I’d like reading an entire book on a small device. However, it has great advantages, mostly that of being easily portable. So is a book, but the Kindle can carry a library of books. Usually the cost of a download is under $10. Someday I’ll get one.

Meanwhile, Kindle publications can now be downloaded for other devices, including your basic computer:

  • Kindle for Tablet Computers
  • Kindle for iPhone
  • Kindle for PC
  • Kindle for Mac
  • Kindle for BlackBerry

I downloaded Kindle for PC but haven’t yet ordered a book. I’ll report when I do.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Put parents on their children's health insurance

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Obama care will allow parents to keep their children -- that is, their adult offspring -- on their insurance up to...

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

* The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

* A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

* The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

* Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

* Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

* Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

* Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

* Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.