Parvum Opus 374: Death and Syntaxes

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

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McCrumbs

From Sharyn McCrumb’s newsletter:

One term in Gaelic for deer is: "the cattle of the elves," and I am charmed by that.

Me too. Also, McCrumb was happy to report that she made it into the OED:

Oxford English Dictionary 3, s.v.
"Life": A full, interesting, and productive existence; a worthwhile, meaningful, or fulfilling lifestyle. Usu. in contexts implying a lack of this. … 1988 S. MCCRUMB Bimbos of Death Sun v. 59 What's the matter with you, pinhead? Don't you have a life?

I recommend Bimbos of the Death Sun, by the way. Don’t know why it hasn’t been made into a movie yet.

Quotage

Said Herb Hickman:

I think possibly Shakespeare morality could be based on suckupage. He would not have savaged Richard III so, had that not been the politically correct thang in his day.

Not so much suckupage as trying to avoid being hung, drawn, and quartered for offending the queen or being obviously Catholic.

Moreover, the original of that other quote was from Mad Magazine in the fifties,

"Breathes there a man with metabolism so low, he has not envied Dimaggio?"

Dimaggio was not only a great ball player, he was married to Marilyn Monroe for a while.

Bill Roberts added regarding the “Breathes there a man” series:

Similar items abound. Unfortunately, many depend upon a base of knowledge that is becoming far less common. My favorite is based on, “Of all sad words of tongue or pen,/ The saddest are, ‘It might have been.’ ”

The version I prefer is,

“Of all sad words of tongue or pen,

“The saddest are,

“For external use only. Cannot be made non-poisonous.”

This leaves the average American of the 21st century wondering what the h*** I’m talking about.

What he’s talking about is the poem “Maud Muller” by John Greenleaf Whittier. And maybe rubbing alcohol.

Annage

Anne deBronkart wrote about the new –age suffix:

You have, once again, struck a nerve here. You remind me of my middle school-media-center days, when I was fortunate enough to know some delightful youngsters who loved playing with words. Three or four of them were so smitten by the game that they'd come to me before home room with things they'd thought up overnight, like negative words that have no positive form. Have you ever known anyone who was [in]ept, [dis]gruntled, [non]plussed, [un]couth... These same kids enjoyed switching initial consonants between adjacent words (Som Tawyer and Camuel Slemens are okay, but don't try it with Huckleberry Finn), or even initial paragraphs (Hail the Kinquering Congs).

And I have a wonderful granddaughter who stocks her car with snackage before she starts her 2-hr. trip back to college (Shenandoah, in Winchester VA).

I’ve heard “snackage”, maybe from my nephew, and expect some marketer to come up with a new product by that name.

Dilemnas

Dave deBronkart referred me to a blog about the word “dilemma” being spelled, and presumably pronounced, “dilemna” (dilemNa). That spelling does not turn up in dict.org, usually a pretty good source with a decent etymology. If you do a Google search, you’ll find some uses of “dilemna” and discussion of the spelling , but I’ve never heard or read that form. The blogger thinks it may be a regional spelling, which is plausible. I would not use it. Any OED help out there?

Comnas

Remember Dave’s book, Laugh, Sing, and Eat Like a Pig: Fred wondered if the last comma in that series affects the meaning, that is, does the comma make it mean, or not mean, laugh like a pig, sing like a pig, and eat like a pig. In this case, I happen to know that Dave sings in barbershop quartets so he doesn’t sing like a pig, and doesn’t laugh like a pig. Eating like a pig remains. Sometimes the modifying phrase can be repeated for emphasis or for clarification. Check out these lyrics by Bob Dylan (“Just Like a Woman”:

She takes just like a woman, yes she does

She makes love just like a woman, yes she does

And she aches just like a woman

But she breaks just like a little girl.

“She takes, makes love, and aches just like a woman.” In this case the modifier applies to all three elements of the series. But the comma or lack of it after the next-to-last series item has no grammatical effect either way.

Bad Bulwer-Lytton

Jan Gregg-Kelm referred me to the 2010 Bulwer-Lytton contest, the bad writing contest inspired by “It was a dark and stormy night”, which I don’t think is such a bad sentence (after all, some nights are darker than others), but I never read any further in Bulwer-Lytton; maybe he gets worse. Anyway, recent B-W winners seem to depend too much on strained and absurd metaphors and awkward, rambling sentence structure, rather than something the average, sincere, bad writer would produce. However, I do like this year’s detective fiction winner:

She walked into my office wearing a body that would make a man write bad checks, but in this paperless age you would first have to obtain her ABA Routing Transit Number and Account Number and then disable your own Overdraft Protection in order to do so.

If it ended at the first comma, it would work.

Garrison Keillor is deft and adept at detective pulpage in his Guy Noir character, as in this example which eerily echoes (or more likely is echoed by) the Bulwer-Lytton winner:

She was tall and dark and so beautiful you wanted to just give her all your money right way and skip the preliminaries.

Bad Syntax = Bad Manners

From Judith Martin’s Miss Manners etiquette column:

Dear Miss Manners:

My girlfriend of many years had her best friend of many years' husband's mother die.

This sentence is bad in so many ways. You might say colloquially, “My friend had her car break down on her” and we would know she did not cause the breakdown, though most often to have something done means to cause it to be done for you. I can’t think of any occasion for saying anyone had anyone die, except for people who hire contract killers. Don’t say it and don’t do it.

This writer composed a complicated and idiotic sentence out of laziness. A slight improvement would be:

The mother of the husband of the best friend for many years of my long-time girlfriend died.

And even that’s a bad sentence. Better to break it up into short sentences, and to omit the irrelevant bit about the length of friendships, or even about the relationships. Is it any surprise that the question of etiquette involved wearing flip-flops to the funeral?

My Mistake

Bruce asked:

Mixing the singular with the plural is common now. Has the rule changed?
Note this recent line in PO.

“When we were fighting the Indians, we got Indian giver, meaning SOMEONE
who takes back what THEY'VE given.”

I think it was probably politically correct in the early years of the
feminist movement. "They" is less offensive than the grammatically correct
"he" and less cumbersome than "she or he."

No, the rule hasn’t changed. I was just careless. It’s pretty common to see the mixing of singular and plural that way because the PC phrasing is so often strained: “someone who takes back what he or she has given” is just clumsy; “people who take back what they’ve given” isn’t accurate in referring to the singular “Indian giver”.

BIOGRAPHY

Buy Sonny Robertson’s intro biography on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue, at CafePress. (Note that if the text on the spine is misaligned, it’s the fault of CafePress, not me.) Also, four of his early pre-blues R&B dance songs are now on YouTube. Search for Sonny Robertson + The Tabs.

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Amazon now has a downloadable Kindle reader so you don’t have to spend hundreds on the little handheld device. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Parvum Opus 373: Writage

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

Laugh, Sing, and Eat Like a Pig

First, let me be clear that Dave DaBee is really Dave deBronkart (not De Bronkart) and he has refused to change his name legally to DaBee for my convenience.

Second, he has published a book about his experience in surviving cancer, called Laugh, Sing, and Eat Like a Pig, now available on Amazon by “e-Patient Dave deBronkart” which is his patient advocate moniker. He not only has a new life but a new career speaking to medical professionals as well as patients about a new era of medical communication and information access that can save lives, maybe even yours.

Third, note also that his book title uses the serial comma before “and” as it should, for which we can thank his scrupulous mother, Anne DaBee.

Buy the book.

The –age of Slangage

Not really new — we already have personage, for instance — but more frequently in my line of hearage now is the suffix –age attached to verbs and nouns (and maybe other parts of speech) to produce a cuter noun: hearage instead of hearing, tubage instead of television, and so on. Why do we have wordage but not writage?

I Like New York in June and Bloody Murder, How About You?

I have been listening to Shakespeare: The Biography on CDs in my car literally for weeks. It’s huge and not always interesting, partly because author Peter Ackroyd fills it in with interpretations of the plays and poems rather than history, which was what I wanted. There’s a certain amount of “Shakespeare must have thought” and “Shakespeare may have felt” and at one point he said that Shakespeare, or rather his plays, have no morality because morality is determined by likes and dislikes, implying that Shakespeare liked lots of things and made no judgments. This may be true of Peter Ackroyd but I’m not convinced that Shakespeare had no moral judgment of Lady MacBeth, for instance, whether or not he enjoyed treachery and bloody murder.

Morality is not determined by likes and dislikes. It is determined by ideas, based on which one makes choices. Likes and dislikes are changeable. Ackroyd is like so many biographers who slip in interpolations asserting their own beliefs as if they were Shakespeare’s.

Ackroyd also says that the fact that Shakespeare spelled his name in various ways, as well as other words, showed that he wanted to keep his meanings indeterminate. If so, that would apply to every English writer up to the point that English spelling was standardized, which was after Shakespeare’s time. I think not.

Perhaps Ackroyd does a better job of arguing his point further down the road, but so far I’m only about 12 hours into the recording.

This and That

· Discovered in A Garland for Girls by Louisa May Alcott: bowlder for boulder. Also, you may know that in the language of flowers, pansies are for thoughts, but this book shows that the flower’s name comes from the French word for thought, pensee.

· A moot point is a debatable point. There used to be moot courts in England where issues were debated (not the same as an actual trial). The word is related to might, and has an old form used in Masonry, So mote it be, meaning amen.

· Saw roses for sale in wooden trugs (troughs), so said the label. They were cute little wooden pots or cache-pots.

· Don’t know where I read this: “Now with Lebron sidling up with fellow Miami Heatians Chris Bosh and Dwayne Wade, a super trio has been formed which will triple our pleasure.” Miami Heatians? Would that be pronounced Heat-ee-anz or Hee-shanz? Is that really what the team is called? Would Miami Heaters work? Also, one sidles up to and sides with, not sidles up with.

· I seem to have run across this usage a couple of times recently but did not note the sources: Go right away from here. Usually we would say Go away from here; right away generally refers to time (“Go away right now”). Go right away from here seems closer to expressions like the emphatic “Walk right in” or “Wait right here” which emphasize the action, not time. It has an odd sound but I wouldn’t say it’s wrong. Maybe it’s not American.

· TV ad for school: “A rewarding career in the business profession.” This isn’t even redundant because business is not what we call a profession. We never say, “He is a professional businessman,” although I expect to hear it any day now.

· In my current favorite game show, Cash Cab, one giddy couple didn’t know the answer to this question and had to ask a man on the street, who did: Name one of the four New Testament Gospels. However, they could name all four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Even if you’re not Christian, or not of any religion, how can you grow up in the West so ignorant of this basic cultural monument? Sadly, we know how.

Extra Dutch

Bill Roberts added to the list of bad Dutch behavior Dutch courage, meaning “brave when inebriated”.

Dave DaBee wrote:

btw, my ex is from Germanic rural Penna, and I recall hearing that Pennsylvania Dutch is actually Deutsch. Maybe you told me that. In that area they have an expression "You're Dutch," meaning "You're not making any sense," which she believes arose from being unable to understand the Deutsche immigrants.

Word maven Rich Lederer sent a big batch, including Dutch courage:

More than sixty disparaging Dutch compounds and expressions repose in the English language, including:

double Dutch: gibberish; the kind of talk deliberately intended to confuse the listener.

Dutch act (also to do the Dutch): suicide.

Dutch auction: one that reverses the order of an ordinary auction; it starts with high figures and regresses to lower ones.

Dutch bargain: a one-sided deal, not a bargain at all.

Dutch comfort: small comfort, if any; typified by the line "Well, it could have been worse."

Dutch courage: the kind of bravery that comes out of a bottle. As far back as 1625, the British poet Edmund Waller wrote, "The Dutch their wine and all their brandy lose,/Disarmed of that from which their courage grows."

Dutch defense: retreat or surrender.

Dutch leave: to be AWOL.

Dutch reckoning: guesswork; a disputed bill.

Dutch treat (or going Dutch): not a treat at all because each guest pays his or her own way.

Dutch uncle: not an uncle at all but an old busybody who reprimands or lectures a young person.

Why have the good people of the Netherlands been made to suffer so in English parlance? Why are the Dutch so in Dutch (meaning "in trouble") in our idioms? Until well after Shakespeare's time, the Dutch were highly regarded in most literary references by British authors. But during the seventeenth century, the two nations became rivals in international commerce, fighting for control of the sea and parts of the New World. For a number of years the Dutch colonial empire loomed as the chief threat to the British, so the disrespectful references began. Even when the British and Dutch empires ceased their conflicts, the slurs on the Dutch crossed the ocean from the British Isles to the United States.

When the English were at odds with the French, we got French leave for AWOL and French letter for condom; the French disease was syphilis, which was also variously called Polish, Italian, British, Spanish, or Christian in different places. When we were fighting the Indians, we got Indian giver, meaning someone who takes back what they’ve given. Someone should compile a dictionary of this type of national insult.

Post-Fourth

Mike Sykes wrote about Scott’s “Breathes there a man with soul so dead”:

That's actually the first verse of Canto Sixth of The Lay of the Last Minstrel, which is, according to the preface, "intended to illustrate the customs and manners which anciently prevailed on the Borders of England and Scotland".

The unsentimental Dave DaBee sent this:

As a lad I was a voracious reader, with a taste for baseball books. In one I saw this, which had no context for me at age 8:

Breathes there a fan with soul so dead

who never to the ump hath said,

"Yer blind, ya bum"?

BIOGRAPHY

Buy Sonny Robertson’s intro biography on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue, at CafePress. Also, four of his early pre-blues R&B dance songs are now on YouTube. Search for Sonny Robertson + The Tabs.

______________________________________________

BIOGRAPHY

Buy Sonny Robertson’s biography on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue, at CafePress.

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Amazon now has a downloadable Kindle reader so you don’t have to spend hundreds on the little handheld device. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Parvum Opus 372: Spiksplinternieuw

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

The Devil Amongst the Writers

I’ve started to read a new book by Sharyn McCrumb, The Devil Amongst the Lawyers, a novel based on a real murder case in 1930s Virginia and the journalistic circus that ensued. She prefaces the book with a quote from James Agee, author of Let Us Now Praise Famous Men, which was about southern sharecroppers (and which I have not read):

It seems to me curious, not to say obscene and thoroughly terrifying, that it could occur to an association of human beings drawn together through need and chance and for profit into a company, an organ of journalism, to pry intimately into the lives of an undefended and appallingly damaged group of human beings, an ignorant and helpless rural family, for the purpose of parading the nakedness, disadvantage and humiliation of these lives before another group of human beings, in the name of science, of "honest journalism" (whatever that paradox may mean), of humanity, of social fearlessness, for money and for a reputation for crusading and for unbias which, when skillfully enough qualified, is exchangeable at any bank for money (and in politics, for votes, job patronage, abelincolnism, etc.); and that these people could be capable of meditating this prospect without the slightest doubt of their qualification to do an "honest" piece of work, and with a conscience better than clear, and in the virtual certitude of almost unanimous public approval.

Note that this is just one sentence. But mostly note that he must be talking about his own reportorial invasion into the lives of this “appallingly damaged group of human beings”. Agee seems to have drunk and smoked himself to death at 45, but became a famous and much praised man himself.

Reporters so often seem to feel themselves apart from their subjects, and are prone to labeling them. They want to simplify life. They often tend to either despise or fawn over their subjects. Anyone poorer than them is “undefended, damaged, ignorant, helpless, naked, disadvantaged, and humiliated” even as the journalists themselves may be doing the attacking, damaging, and humiliating. Pity is just as offensive, dangerous, and dishonest as contempt or adulation. They distrust and hold in contempt the rich and powerful, or at least everyone a step above them on the ladder, leaving only the denizens of the Fourth Estate perfectly positioned to survey and judge the rest of benighted humanity above and below.

I haven’t been subjected to journalistic inquiry, but I’ve been labeled from time to time over the years, as have most of us. Sometimes the labeler means to be flattering, but it never is the truth and it always has to do with categorizing me in a group from which the speaker excluded himself or herself: “my hippy girlfriend” – “you’re so brave” – “you’re an elitist” – “you’re cold and hard” – “you’re afraid of swarthy people” – you don’t need to know the stories but you get the idea. This is what Agee is talking about in that long sentence and is what he did himself, and it’s what McCrumb is writing about in her novel.

Let’s All Be a Little Bit More Careful

Dave De Bronkart called to say that modifiers should modify. We can all agree with that. Here’s what he was talking about: After a company had mixed up 92 samples of something or other, someone said, “Maybe the industry should be a little bit more careful.”

Well, duh.

But we’ve all heard this phrasing before. Why do grownups say this? It sounds like something you’d say to a kindergartener. Imagine saying this about the BP disaster.

What is the rhetorical intent? Is it an attempt to soften an obvious criticism, which adults ought to be able to take straight, or is it sarcasm (I’m the adult, you’re the idiot)?

The modifiers in that sentence are “maybe”, “little”, “bit”, and “more”. The only necessary one is “more”. There’s no maybe about it. The modifiers of the main modifier pull their punches so badly that the speaker ought to end up punching himself. Or herself. Women tend to qualify their statements just a little bit more than men do. It’s a bad habit, it’s weak and indirect and dishonest, and it suggests that the speaker isn’t sure of what he or she is saying, or maybe doesn’t really mean it, or might retract it if it doesn’t get full agreement and approval. Don’t you think?

Worldish, Pinish, Romantish

Christopher Hitchens’ memoir, Hitch-22 (get it, Catch-22) is reviewed interestingly but oddly by B. J. Bethel:

Hitchens delights himself and his readers with his own duality, shaped from birth by an existence with his world-ish, tragic mother…

…his book is filled with romantic pines to his radical past…

The thing is, I’m not sure if Bethel is a bad writer or just a quirky writer. Is “world-ish” the same as “worldly” (and why use a hyphen there)? Did Bethel mean worldly or somewhat worldly (worldlyish)? Can you replace “pining for” with “pines to” plus a noun object? Is there anything to be gained in meaning or tone by using these peculiar neologisms?

I’m don’t know if I’ll read Hitchens’ memoir though I often find him interesting in small doses. I did read Koba the Dread by Martin Amis, about Stalin, in which Amis calls out his old friend Hitchens for letting Stalin’s 20 million deaths slide. Hitchens’ duality is displayed in his occasional good sense, versus his long Marxist unwillingness to acknowledge Stalin’s guilt, and his vicious attack on Mother Teresa in The Missionary Position. Stalin gets some slack, Mother Teresa doesn’t.

This ‘n’ That

• I didn’t record where I heard this, but the expression “spic and span” came from Dutch sailors who used spiksplinternieuw to mean new and bright and clean, like a new ship. Since we have both Spic’n’Span and Dutch Cleanser, I guess the Dutch were reputed to be very clean as well as rough (Dutch rub, Dutch uncle) and in trouble (in Dutch) and cheap (Dutch treat).

• On bags of flour in the grocery store: Great for Recipes. This must be a tip for people who just buy flour to powder their wigs.

• I saw a local cook on TV named John Tomain. Yep.

• Re-noticed on my recent road trip to NE Ohio (all about family and food, food, food): Portage County, Portage Path (I used to live there), and Portage Lakes (my uncle lives there), which were all named for the old Indian portages, the routes where they rowed or carried their canoes.

Rebel Yell

The famous Rebel Yell of the Civil War was actually recorded by old Confederate soldiers. You can listen to it on YouTube.

Native Land

And now a poem for the Glorious Fourth:

BREATHES there the man with soul so dead,

Who never to himself hath said,

'This is my own, my native land!'

Whose heart hath ne'er within him burn'd

As home his footsteps he hath turn'd

From wandering on a foreign strand?

If such there breathe, go, mark him well;

For him no Minstrel raptures swell;

High though his titles, proud his name,

Boundless his wealth as wish can claim;

Despite those titles, power, and pelf,

The wretch, concentred all in self,

Living, shall forfeit fair renown,

And, doubly dying, shall go down

To the vile dust from whence he sprung,

Unwept, unhonour'd, and unsung.

The last five lines of his poem by Sir Walter Scott were quoted in the movie Groundhog Day, though the subject there was not patriotism.

Why not re-read the Declaration of Independence and maybe the Constitution to celebrate the Fourth?

BIOGRAPHY

Buy Sonny Robertson’s intro biography on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue, at CafePress. Also, four of his early pre-blues R&B dance songs are now on YouTube. Search for Sonny Robertson + The Tabs.

______________________________________________

BIOGRAPHY

Buy Sonny Robertson’s biography on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue, at CafePress.

- Hide quoted text -

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Amazon now has a downloadable Kindle reader so you don’t have to spend hundreds on the little handheld device. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Parvum Opus 371: Well 'Nough Enown

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

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Heard on Radio

· “Media win thanks for papal coverage”

How many media? The word media is, of course, plural in Latin, but also has turned into a sort of singular/plural hybrid in English, like data. It’s also possible to think of media as a collective noun, like faculty or company, which in the U.S. would be singular and in the U.K. plural. So take your pick. It’s nice to have one word with which you cannot make a mistake in grammatical number. (Medium and mediums turned into something quite different in English, but you might like to think of your favorite newscaster as a medium.)

· “Letters will largely go unreplied to.”

You can say “Letters will largely go unanswered” but I can’t think of any syntactical circumstance that would justify “unreplied to” and it’s not because of that training preposition.

· “He’s well known but not well ‘nough enown.”

I just like this one. Even though it was just a slip of the tongue, it has an oddly familiar Old English sound.

My Card

I have a box of out-of-date business cards (my URL is no more), but I found a place to get some cheap cards: igreenprint.com. Not just cheap, free plus a moderate handling and shipping charge for up to 250 cards. I designed my own; haven’t received them yet. One nice thing is that with every order, they say they plant a tree. I don’t know what or where. I planted an oak twig last year that actually has leaves now. I’ll plant an acorn or a twig for you if you send me money.

E-Prime

I picked up a remaindered mystery for $1, The Fractal Murders by Mark Cohen. Fractal theorists are murdered, but it’s really because of money, not fractals, which as you know are repeated patterns in nature or otherwise generated, for instance fractal screen savers.

At one point in the story, our detective, Pepper Keane (who’s a man despite the name) asks a linguist to help identify the author of a scholarly paper. One of the things that distinguishes this paper from another is the use of e-prime, which is writing without any form of the verb to be. The great advantage to this is not being able to use the passive form, but otherwise the arguments for it by its creator are more philosophical, e.g. “The apple is red” doesn’t make sense; it should be “The apples looks red” or something like that. However, language doesn’t operate on such strict points. “The apple is red” does mean that the apple appears to the eye to have that color, that’s how it strike the rods and cones and brain, etc.

I once worked for an editor who insisted on changing sentences that started “There is” or “there are”, a sort of sub-category of the e-prime rule. These can be weak starts, but sometimes are unavoidable and actually are even somewhat invisible, in the same way “he said” becomes invisible in a book. The editor would replace these structures with the verb exist/s: “Places exist that I remember …” (Beatles: “There are places I remember”; here, a knockout version of “In My Life” by Johnny Cash). Word choice hangs on sound and rhythm and the evocativeness of words too.

Sometimes it’s worthwhile (or worthwhileness exists) to state something more precisely than is possible with to be verbs (or than verbs make possible).But colloquial and even more formal standard English would quickly become ridiculous if they followed this rule strictly. Example:

To be or not to be,

That is the question.

To exist or not to exist,

I ask this question.

Contested Will

I finished Contested Will by James Shapiro, about the history of, or reasons for, the arguments against Shakespeare of Stratford’s authorship: why did people start down this path? He covers the Bacon and Oxford schools of thought, and ends with a section on his own preference for Shakespeare of Stratford.

It seems the main arguments against Shakespeare as Shakespeare are his comparatively humble origins, plus the idea that literature must be largely autobiographical. For instance, he didn’t really travel to Italy, and didn’t know enough about the nobility, and wasn’t educated enough, and so on. I never thought highly of those arguments, especially the autobiographical one. Shakespeare wrote quite a bit about murder. What experience did he or the Earl of Oxford or Bacon have of the murder of kings?

When I began writing fiction, I started to look at other people’s fiction a little differently. Some things from actual experience do go into fiction, maybe a lot, but a lot comes from imagination too, and the real and the imagined get intermixed and become something new. The work of art represents some aspect of the writer’s mind, but just like actors, we can’t experience everything first hand. However, we share in the common experience of all human beings. We all might feel like doing murder from time to time, at least verbally. (Ever hear of character assassination?)

It’s an interesting book, if that’s the kind of thing you’re interested in.

When Sonny Gets Blue

My production of the first installment of Sonny Robertson’s autobiography had lots of technical glitches along the way. I finally got an adequate CD together and I’m pretty happy about it, though it’s still just the first step in this biographic project, which I hope to see in print eventually.

Sonny Robertson is a great blues singer and guitarist, originally from Saint Louis, who worked with many famous musicians throughout his career. His life story is fascinating, he’s a great story teller, and he has a lot to say about the life of a musician and the problems of passing down the blues heritage to young black musicians.

The 55-minute CD is available at www.cafepress.com/sonnyrobertson. One of the technical glitches that I cannot control is that the sample clips listed on the web site don’t actually work and CafePress isn’t fixing this feature. However, the CD tracks are OK.

I lifted the audio from some old tapes Sonny gave me, so the sound quality isn’t perfect. But my Venezuelan Spanish-speaking student understood most of it, so you can too. (I had to explain to him what the blues is.)

Fred came up with the perfect title, by the way, When Sonny Gets Blue. Remember that old jazz standard? (I don’t know that Sonny Robertson has ever performed that song, but you’ll like this Johnny Mathis version.)

I’ve worked in publishing for years, but producing an audio book is quite different because I didn’t handle the words themselves. Not even punctuation. In case you ever contemplate a similar project (interviewing your grandma, for instance), here’s a partial list of what I did and what happened when I tried to do it:

• My first plan was to transcribe the audio tapes to written text, but since transcription machines are expensive, I bought two used ones, both of which broke. It is possible to transcribe text by stopping and starting a tape machine manually rather than with a foot or knee pedal, but it’s painfully slow. I decided finally to produce audio.
• I had to figure out how to convert tape to digital. I learned how online, of course, and bought a cord to connect the tape player to the computer, and downloaded a free program called Audacity for the conversion.
• I extracted the selections I wanted by cutting and pasting with Audacity (something like cutting and pasting in Word). Each selection had a different quality of sound. I tried to get rid of some of the extraneous tape hiss, but I’m no sound technician.
• I had to go through a lot to identify the three selections as three tracks on CD. It took me five tries to do it. Following the directions from Audacity didn’t work.
• Our computers already had programs to burn digital sound files to CDs for testing, and for a sound master because...
• Uploading the digital file to CafePress didn’t work so I had to mail them a master CD. (I already had problems uploading a digital file to zazzle.com.)
• When I ordered a test copy, only 12 minutes had made it to the CafePress CD. Start over.
• I designed and wrote the CD case packaging material, using Photoshop Elements for the graphics. The WYSIWYG function in CafePress design production isn’t right. It’s OK in the consumer store online.

The great thing is that as an amateur, I was able to get pretty good free software to work on this project, and CafePress POD services are free. Finally I’ve got something to use for various promotional purposes, and to preserve this material for history.

All this fiddly work is for that end, and the real point is Sonny Robertson’s music, those moments in time.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Locals paint over Shepard Fairey weapon murals

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Shepard Fairey is the artist who painted the iconic "Hope" poster of Obama seen everywhere during his...

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ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Amazon now has a downloadable Kindle reader so you don’t have to spend hundreds on the little handheld device. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.