Parvum Opus 356: Fraught

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

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Re-Homed

I was simultaneously gladdened and saddened to learn about an English cat named Casper who used to ride the bus in Devon until he was struck by a car. His owner had “re-homed” him from a rescue centre. I haven’t seen the word “re-homed” before. Now we hope he is re-homed in an even better place. Maybe Casper has been repurposed too. He was a fine cat.

Unfraught Me

Heard somewhere: “We have a fraught relationship…” I thought for sure that “fraught” means “laden” and without a qualifier shouldn’t be used as a stand-alone adjective. But dict.org does show one example from WordNet similar to the one I quoted. It’s true that even when the word is qualified, it’s generally with something negative, as fraught with danger, fraught with tension, etc., so maybe it can stand alone as an adjective. But I still wouldn’t use “fraught” by itself without a following prepositional phrase, certainly not in conversation and probably not in more formal writing either. “Are you fraught? I’m fraught.”

The word is obviously related to “freight” but the root surprisingly means something like “merit” or “deserve”, which meaning has been completely lost now.

Hard to Read

In the January 20 cartoon, Agnes fakes her homework in an uber-literate style. The text is:

Teacher: Agnes, this composition is unreadable.

Agnes: I did it in the manner of Saint Hildegard of Bingen. I used “lingua ignota,” which is an unknown language, and “litterae ignotae,” an alternative alphabet.

Later, Agnes to Principal: I don’t know why she sent me here…the look on her face was hard to read.

Hildegard of Bingen, 12th century saint, invented an alternative alphabet and language and wrote music too, which of course you can hear on YouTube.

Spelling Mistake

Supposedly the underwear bomber slipped through security because his name was misspelled on one list of security threats. If so, this is only one of the security misses that let Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab fly. It does, however, show that spelling may be more, not less, important than it used to be. You usually have to be exact in finding data in a computer database, if not on the Web.

When humans check lists, they are capable of spotting spelling mistakes or alternatives, such as Abdul Mutallab, Abdulmutallab, Abdoul Moutallab, etc. but machines have both lesser and greater capabilities. Some search engines will give you alternative spellings (e.g. Google, “Did you mean: abdul mutallab ?”).

The airlines must not be using Soundex with their computerized manifests. Soundex is “a phonetic algorithm for indexing names by sound, as pronounced in English. The goal is for homophones to be encoded to the same representation so that they can be matched despite minor differences in spelling.” Example: While Douglas is a family name, for instance, one of my forebears spelled it Douglass, and there are several other spellings. Soundex is used in genealogy searches for family names, since the spelling of names changes. If you do a search on Rootsweb for Duglass using the Soundex converter, you get DESAULLES | DOUGLAS | DOUGLASS | DUCLOS (why Desaulles?). But a search for Abdul or Abdoul turns up nothing, though we know there are various phonetic spellings of that non-English name.

I did not know that

The word “apocalyptic” comes from the Greek “calypsos” meaning revelation. “Revelation” is comes from Latin, meaning the same thing. I always assumed that apocalypse had something to do with the end of the world, but it’s more like a cataclysmic event that reveals something, or the truth about something. It’s more about unveiling than destroying.

(Note: Fred says I wrote about this before in PO, but I don’t remember. It’s nice to learn something new even if it’s something I used to know.)

Mike the Sykes

Mike Sykes wrote:

On arriving in the VIth Form (11th Grade?), I acquired access to a library where by happy chance I found Poets at Play, an anthology by Cyril Alington, D.D., Dean of Durham, published by Methuen, London, 1942. I still have a copy, found for me by my wife years later. It contains many gems, including the following:

What, still alive at twenty-two,

A clean upstanding chap like you?

Why, if your throat is hard to slit,

Slit your girl's and swing for it!

Like enough you won't be glad

When they come to hang you, lad,

But bacon's not the only thing

That's cured by hanging from a string.

When the blotting pad of night

Sucks the latest drop of light,

Lads whose job is still to do

Shall whet their knives and think of you.

(parody of A Shropshire Lad by A E Housman)

Grabberwochy

'Twas Danzig, and the Swastikoves

Did heil and hittle in the reich

All Nazi were the lindengroves

And the neuraths julestreich. …

'Beware the Grabberwock, my son,

The plans that spawn, the plots that hatch!

Beware the Jewjew Bird, and shun

The fuhrious Bundesnatch!'

He took his aryan horde in hand

Long time the Gestapo He taught

Then rested he by the Baltic Sea

And stood awhile in thought.

And as a Polish oath they swore,

The Grabberwoch, with lies aflame

Came goering down the corridor

And goebbelled as it came.

Ein, zwei! ein, zwei! one in the eye

For Polska folk, alas, alack.

He left them dead and as their head

He came meinkampfing back.

'And hast thou ta'en thy lebensraum?

Come to my arms, my rhenish boy!

Oh grabjous day! Sieg heil, be gay!'

He strengthened through his Joy.

'Twas Danzig, and the swastikoves

Did heil and hittle in the reich,

All nazi were the lindengroves

And the neuraths julestreich.

Michael Barsley

(I just happen to have those two available to copy & paste.)

I love the Shropshire Lad parody as well as The Shropshire Lad itself. A. E. Houseman made an amusing case for capital punishment.

Poets at Play seems to be unavailable now, unfortunately.

Finally Mike wrote regarding anacrostics (also called crostics):

Such puzzles seem to be unknown in the UK, but then I've never been much of a puzzle solver. Unlike my second cousin, who won The Times crossword (sample attached) competition so consistently that he refrained from entering in alternate years, to give others a chance.

(Sample was not attached, Mike. Send it again.) The English seem to be good at tricky puzzles so I’m surprised they don’t have this type.

Reading Test

One of the Examiner.com items I listed last week drew a comment from a reader (not a PO reader) who thought I was slamming the priest I quoted who made a little jest about ecology. I followed up with an explanatory comment of my own. I’d like to know if any PO readers read this bit the same way commenter Dan did? This is the one: Is fuel wasted on human survival? You all know my style, of course, but if you read carefully, did I miss my mark?

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

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ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

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BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Parvum Opus 355: Bebeing English

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

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BEBEING ENGLISH

You knew Ogden Nash! Can I touch you?

Anne DeBronkart wrote about the pelican limerick*:

Oh my God — for well over a half century I've attributed that gem to Ogden Nash, believing it was one of many observations about animals and a companion piece to Nash's "The Turtle":

"The turtle lives twixt plated decks

Which practically conceal its sex.

I think it clever of the turtle

In such a fix, to be so fertile."

Ogden Nash was a friend and contemporary of my father's, both growing up (as I did, sort of) in Rye, N.Y. He was the first (and only) poet I ever met, and probably had a greater influence on my sense of humor that I might choose to acknowledge. I apologize to Mr. Merritt, and applaud his ability to write in the style of Ogden Nash! —

It wasn't exactly a best-buddy sort of thing between us — he and my father occasionally got schnockered** together at "The Club" or at our house (less often — my stepmother disapproved of drinking unless she was invited...) and we had practically everything he ever published, but in spite of the fact that I thought he was the funniest man alive and adored him, it was mostly from afar.

I am so excited to learn that Anne DaBee actually met the great Ogden Nash. His were some of the bits of humorous verse I memorized as a young lass, including the turtle quatrain. Anne continued:

Strangely enough, my interest in (and fondness for) humorists didn't serve me well in school, where I was strongly encouraged to read other authors' work, and was firmly told more than once that the pun was the lowest form of humor. I still believe that a GOOD pun requires better than average intelligence to both create and understand, but I guess I'm still in the minority. Oh well — as one verbally-challenged politician said in a campaign speech many years ago, "Things will remain the same until they change." That's right up there with another one's "Difficult decisions are never easy to make." Both were elected to office...

I agree about good puns. Actually, any sort of humor in literature is seldom given the same respect as drama, romance, or tragedy, though it may cover the same subjects, just as intelligently or more so. Even humorous mystery novelists are less respected than the others, as I once heard Joan Hess complain. (I met Hess at a writer’s conference and later walked her through an AOL chat room I’d set up for Sisters in Crime, its first online presence, I believe.)

When I was in school I loved humor writers too, but they were seldom in the syllabus. I often hid a library book behind my textbook in some classes, and the humorists were dangerous because I’d be snickering in history class or something and trying to hide it, and besides that, I really didn’t know any other kids with the same sense of literary humor. Dorkorama. Nerdinator. So Nash, Don Marquis, S. J. Perelman, and other funny guys (along with Nancy Drew) got me through my teens, God rest them. (Rich Lederer wasn’t extant as a writer till later in my life.)

* I first typed “limberick” which ought to be a word. Limericks do limber you up.

** I first heard “schnockered” from a college BF who got drunk a lot.

As for knowing famous poets, here’s Robert Browning’s comment:

:

Memorabilia
Ah, did you once see Shelley plain,
And did he stop and speak to you,
And did you speak to him again?
How strange it seems and new!

But you were living before that,
And also you are living after;
And the memory I started at—
My starting moves your laughter!

I crossed a moor with a name of its own
And a certain use in the world, no doubt,
Yet a hand's-breadth of it shines alone
'Mid the blank miles round about.

For there I picked upon the heather
And there I put inside my breast
A moulted feather, an eagle-feather!
Well, I forget the rest.

“Mr. Fix It”

A rare instance of someone who understands the misuse of quotation marks. “Mr. Fix It” drives a kluged-up truck. To fully appreciate this bit of punctuation, look at the picture of the truck then think of MR. FIX IT without quotation marks. Then try these:

“Mr.” Fix It (handyman in drag?)

Mr. “Fix” it (like our recent computer repairman)

Mr. Fix “It” (something will get fixed but maybe not what you planned)

Overheard, Overheard in New York, New York

Cashier with cookbook: It's got a table of continents so you can see what's in it!
— Department Store, 225th St

Coworker: UPS didn't have the tracking information at first, but then they found it... Good thing, because I was about to blow a casket.

— Fordham University

Bebeing English

From former Archbishop of Canterbury, Lord Carey (does he have a first name?):

“Too often in recent years the call for a rational debate on mass migration has degenerated into name-calling and charges of racism,” Carey bemoaned in his newspaper op-ed.

“Bemoaned” is always a transitive verb, as far as I know. Carey can bemoan name-calling, name-calling being the object of the transitive verb. Or he can just moan.

“Prefixes that changed meaning instead of grammatic tense were always attached to the word they modified.” So says the everything2.com web site, which looks interesting and peculiar, if you have time for everything2. (I haven’t had time for everything1 or even everything yet.) In this case, however, “be” does not change the meaning of “moan” or the tense, but does change it from intransitive to transitive, which is not tense, that is, not about time.

In Wikipedia, the prefix “be” is explained to indicate:

equipped with, covered with, beset with (pejorative or facetious)

EXAMPLES: bedeviled, becalm, bedazzle, bewitch

But the Wiki entry confusingly defines adjectives while mixing verbs and adjectives as examples. We don’t use devil as a verb anymore, except with boiled eggs, but to bedevil is familiar as a verb as bedeviled is as an adjective. We don’t use witch much as a verb either. Maybe deviling and witching are less in our consciousness. But we still know the feeling, thus bedevil and bewitch. In becalm and bedazzle, “be” seems to be an intensifier. In none of these four examples does the meaning seem to be changed pejoratively or facetiously. You can’t say bedevil and bewitch are pejorative compared to their root words. Bewitching is even complimentary.

Is it still possible to prefix “be” to a word where it hasn’t been done before? How about … weed. I am going to weed the garden. If I said “I beweeded” the garden”, would it mean I really cleaned out the weeds, or I added weeds? “The garden was beweeded.” Sounds weedy to me. But the verb “weed” is a little dicey anyway. If I seed the garden, I plant seeds. If I weed the garden, I remove weeds. Beseeded, beweeded, let’s call the whole thing off. BUT … The garden is beseeded with morning glories. The garden is beweeded with bindweed.

Definitions

Anent the imperfection of crossword puzzle magazines, this letter from a puzzled reader appeared in the March 2010 Dell Official Variety Puzzles:

Anacrostics are among the features that I like best, yet P’s definition – “Disconcerted” for THREW – in number 7 from March 2009 is beyond reason.”

Editor’s reply: “If a sports upset disconcerted you, it would have thrown you too, right?”

The guy who wrote the letter is probably slapping his head over this one, but these tricky definitions are part of the game. They’re also the reason you can’t rely on a thesaurus for interesting variations in your vocabulary. But this is not the same as my complaint about defining “neutrality” as “peace” which is a philosophical or political assumption and not a definition.

Corex

Last week I meant that John McCarthy recommended The Anthologist (not George).

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

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The disaster in Haiti is causing all sorts of people to question why evil exists in the world, as if this is the...

A tale of two videos

Thursday, January 14, 2010

In the Cincinnati Enquirer today, two crime stories appear on page B2. Convicted murder Jerome Dennis turned...

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ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Parvum Opus 354: Almost Like Living in Lowell

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

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Bumper Sticker of the Week

“That was Zen, this is Tao”

Hoodie of the Week

Read “Friends don't let friends use Comic Sans” and then go to Amazon to buy the hoodie. But if you don’t mind the Comic Sans type font, I can make you custom hoodies, T-shirts, etc., featuring your own pet peeve in fonts, or beverages or whatever.

Hating the Comic Sans font shows an ultra-refined sense of both culture and graphic design. It’s really just a simple sans serif font designed to resemble fonts used in cartoon captions, but we have evolved so highly that even a type font can suggest a world of meaning and can evoke an idea or an emotion; a meme. You wouldn’t use Comic Sans on a funeral program, for instance, or a wedding. But designers are sensitive creatures and overuse of anything can set their teeth on edge. (There’s probably a type font that suggests teeth being on edge.)

The Bustard and the Pelican

Rich Lederer wrote:

The author of the exquisite bustard limerick is George Vaill. … Here's another avian limerick of the highest order:

A wonderful bird is the pelican

His bill will hold more than his belican.

He can take in his beak

Enough food for a week,

But I'm damned if I see how the helican

By Dixon Lanier Merritt

Agnes Explains Spelling

Little Agnes explains why they go on about spelling at school.

Bellpers

Fred noted that the humble bellhop has been promoted to bell captain, after being a bellboy and bellman. I can see why a grownup doesn’t want to be called a boy, but captain is just silly unless you have a lot of bellprivates or bellsergeants working under you. What was wrong with bellhop? I suppose people thought it was demeaning to be expected to hop to it when the desk clerk rings the bell. But nobody wants a bellsloth.

I suppose somewhere they’re called bellpersons or bellpeople or bellstaff, but how about “belpers”, combining bell and helper with a hint of person? True, it’s also a bit reminiscent of belchers, but I like it. Tell all your friends, start using it when you go to hotels. Let’s see if we can start a belper wave across the country.

Almost Like Living in Lowell

A Massachusetts teacher with tenure lost her job because a judge determined her speech to be “utterly incomprehensible”. Is that any reason she shouldn’t be teaching? Phanna Rem Robishaw (she’s not from around there) is suing. She may not have learned to speak clearly since she emigrated and married an American many years ago, but she learned the legal culture. One legal argument for her is that native American* teachers aren’t required to take a fluency test. Robishaw got complaints, though. Another legal argument is that Robishaw is a victim of anti-Cambodian bias, which as we know is rampant in Lowell, Massachusetts.

One of my sons had an Asian instructor of English composition in college who was hard to understand, but who insisted he knew English better than his American students. He may indeed have known the grammar better and even had a bigger vocabulary than the American freshmen, but as an ESL teacher, I have to say that pronunciation is a specialized aspect of ESL education and people who intend to teach in this country should have to work at it. I have students who write pretty well but whose speech is halting and hard to understand, which usually means their listening comprehension isn’t very good either.

Now for an appropriate song that I heard on the radio when I moved to Massachusetts:

Living in Braintree

With you in Methuen

Is almost like living in Lowell.

For those of you who don’t live in Massachusetts, this song is about the difficulties of having a lover at commuting distance. In the Midwest, it wouldn’t be much more than zip zip down the highway, but it’s not that easy around there. Using public transportation, it could take an hour just to go five miles cross-town in Boston.

*Not to be confused with Native American. The other day I heard on TV, forget what program, that “Native American” is now “American Indian” again but I have no other source or explanation.

Couth Mike

Mike Sykes wrote:

RE: In Malaysia “Muslims [are] outraged

You could well say that there a people who seek out opportunities to be outraged. Could it be that they (subconsciously?) realise they are vulnerable to rational argument?

I could very well say that, and I doubt if any sort of realization figures into it.

RE: Pre-9/11, if I ever thought about Islam, which I didn’t, I would have assumed that Allah is simply the Arabic word for God, like Dios (Spanish), Dieu (French), Gott (German), Dio (Italian), Deus (Portuguese), God (Dutch), and other words in alphabets I can’t read. …

Don't the Jews have some similar attitude to 'Jehovah' (or Yahweh, or whatever)?

Not to the point of burning churches and murder, they don’t. They do omit the vowels in the name, called the Tetragrammaton. There are theological reasons for not speaking the name that we call Jehovah. However, you’re allowed to say “Allah” but it doesn’t translate and it’s apparently not supposed to be used by non-Muslims, at least in Malaysia.

RE: The theology is not clear to me, but it reminds me of the old joke that God is, of course, an Englishman, and not only that, an English gentleman.

Whaddayamean 'joke'?

OK. Don’t hurt me.

RE: Choate

Interesting article in the NY Times language column on why we have inchoate but not choat, insult but not sult, and so on.

And I'm couth! (in some sense)

In the old, old days, that would mean you are known. You are from around here.

The Anthologist

John McCarthy, who is a songwriter, recommended a book by Nicholson Baker called The Anthologist. The plot, which so far is rather thin, is about a writer whose girlfriend left him because he got into a funk and couldn’t complete a job to write an introduction to an anthology, but mostly it’s about poetry, detailed observations about rhyme and meter, which you might think would be even thinner stuff but is actually engrossing. I can’t wait to see how it turns out.

Once I had to write a paper in graduate school about a book, a physical book, and I chose an anthology of poetry much used in college, An Introduction to Poetry by X. J. Kennedy. I liked his taste in poems, but the book was bound with cheap glue and the pages came apart.

The PC

We’ve had partial success in restoring our computer files.

• The evil computer repairman (or his little techie) restored a lot of files but in no order, and some, maybe a lot, I hope not all, are blank, garbled, useless.
• Mozy said I canceled my backup account, which I didn’t.
• I had to talk to a nice lady in India to restore Norton 360 software, download the files, and cancel the automatic subscription renewal. Looks like only photos and music files were restored.
• The best source of old files was our two old hard drives, which we have carried from computer to computer for years, thanks to Fred’s foresight. The physical ones are in a plastic bag somewhere but the content continues in directories in all our new computers. All of that is good but only until our last upgrade, thus I’ve mostly lost everything from 2009 (except what I posted online).

Several people wrote with suggestions about backup, for which I thank you. One woman told me she has two external hard drives. For starters, I bought a flash drive to back up the laptop files, and we will be getting an external hard drive for backup.*

*Let me call your notice to the difference between “back up” (the verb) and “backup” (the noun and sometimes adjective).

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Harry Reid is a (white) politician

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Harry Reid is guilty of having been a bit stupid, but not mean or dishonest, at least in his remarks about Obama...
Waste not want not

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Jeffrey Folks writing for American Thinker reports that some radical environmentalists are proposing that people...
England is a source of terrorists

Friday, January 8th, 2010

Since Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab tried to destroy a plane and hundreds of passengers, and potentially thousands of...

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2009. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Parvum Opus 353: You Say Tomato, I Am Outraged

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere.

_________________________________________________________________________

Bustards

Not sure if Bill Roberts wrote this limerick, but he sent it in answer to “buzzards seldom work”:

Neither do bustards. (We were in Groton when Mohegan College had their Asimov-judged limerick contest.)

The bustard's an exquisite fowl

With minimal reason to growl:

He escapes what would be

Illegitimacy

By grace of a fortunate vowel.

You Say Tomato, I Am Outraged

In Malaysia “Muslims [are] outraged over a ruling this past weekend that allows the country’s 850,000 Roman Catholics to use the word Allah to describe God.” A Malaysian newspaper uses the word to mean God because some indigenous people have no such word in their language.

Pre-9/11, if I ever thought about Islam, which I didn’t, I would have assumed that Allah is simply the Arabic word for God, like Dios (Spanish), Dieu (French), Gott (German), Dio (Italian), Deus (Portuguese), God (Dutch), and other words in alphabets I can’t read. But no.

Do Muslims think every other reference to God is not to the God but to their very own proprietary deity, though the Arabic word is pre-Islamic? There are those who think Allah is really Ba’al. Do Muslims think there is more than one Supreme Being, with different names? The theology is not clear to me, but it reminds me of the old joke that God is, of course, an Englishman, and not only that, an English gentleman. Or, if the (English) King James Bible was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me.

Playing for the Other Team

Also in the news is Satan, who is, surprisingly, a Czech hockey player. Miroslav Satan is a handsome devil; he’s married and has a little Satan Junior.

Frankly, I’m Puzzled

It seems to me that word puzzle books contain more typos than they used to, and sometimes the word definitions are sloppy, such as making “peace” a clue for “neutrality”.

Along the same lines, when a young Grammy-nominated trio called Lady Antebellum sang the National Anthem at the Sugar Bowl the other day, one of the young men sang “Oh say can you see though the dawn’s early light” instead of “through” although it should be “by”. Can he have a clear idea of what the words actually mean?

Once I worked briefly as a freelance puzzle magazine proofreader, because I often work puzzles while I watch TV and I figured I’d make a few bucks doing something I do anyway. But proofreading needs more concentration. I ended up making about $2 an hour and decided that even if I developed more speed, I might not get up to minimum wage, plus I had to meet the deadlines. So though I’m pretty good at solving the puzzles, I gave it up.

The poor economy must be reducing proofreaders and proofreading hours, and I can’t help thinking that the very youngest college grads who might take this job for a while aren’t literate enough to do a good enough job. But what about the puzzle makers? Who are they? I always think of them as old (that is, older than me). I can accept the typos but not neutrality as peace.

The Education Front: Science Is for White People

The Berkeley school district may eliminate science labs and teachers because mostly white students are in the classes and do well in them. Who are the racists here? I’m forming a posse to make sure George Washington Carver is turning over in his grave. We’ll charter a bus to go to Tuskegee Institute, where he’s buried. I worked there for a few months, a long time ago and a long story ago.

Choate

Interesting article in the NY Times language column on why we have inchoate but not choat, insult but not sult, and so on. It’s because the prefix “in” of course does not always make a word into a negative. It has another meaning, to wit, in. People are tempted to drop the prefix, but you shouldn’t do it unless you’re joking, as is Allan Weiss in “The Domitable Knight”. (I don’t know if he wrote it or just copied it.) Some time ago I included a similar little story of false coinages in PO but can’t find it now (see Stupid Cheap below).

Low Lives

Somewhere I read “low lives” referring to bad people. It should have been “low lifes” even though ordinarily the plural of life is lives. In this case, “low life” is a special idiom that needs to be heard and seen as a whole, and shouldn’t follow the usual grammar rule. www.merriam-webster.com gives both forms but lowlifes, as a single word, is first. However, even the sound of “low life” is weakened when you exchange the hissy sound of F for the soft V sound.

Word Count

The Global Language Monitor reports that the most-used word in 2009 was Twitter. Other trendy words make up their top ten. They have an algorithm for figuring this out, which possibly produces a word from a predetermined list. Clearly Twitter can’t be the most commonly used word in English, which is probably “the” or “a” or something like that. And I doubt if it’s the most commonly used noun in conversation, or even in print, even discounting the function words. GLM must be compiling lists of words that the media like to latch on to.

Blue Moon

I missed the New Year’s Eve blue moon. As you may know, a blue moon is the second full moon in a calendar month. It doesn’t happen often, especially on New Year’s Eve.

Smash Mouth

I would have thought that “smash mouth” would be a joking reference to kissing. But no. Smash mouth football is rough football. I’ve seen way too much football lately.

The correct pronunciation of "Appalachia" is West Virginia

… but “I know the correct pronunciation of Appalachian” is a Facebook page. They say the correct pronunciation is AppaLATCHan, not AppaLAYchun. However, yourdictionary.com gives LAY as the first pronunciation and LATCH as the second. Wikipedia says (with phonetic symbols omitted):

While exploring inland along the northern coast of Florida in 1528, the members of the Narváez expedition, including Álvar Núñez Cabeza de Vaca [“cow head”], found a Native American village near present-day Tallahassee, Florida whose name they transcribed as Apalchen or Apalachen. … Now spelled "Appalachian", it is the fourth oldest surviving European place-name in the U.S. .. [In the north] the cultural region of Appalachia is pronounced … with a third syllable like "lay". In southern U.S. dialects, … the cultural region of Appalachia is pronounced … with a third syllable like the "la" in "latch". This pronunciation is favored in the "core" region in central and southern parts of the Appalachian range. The occasional use of the "sh" sound for the "ch" in the last syllable in northern dialects was popularized by Appalachian Trail organizations in New England in the early 20th century.

My family was from Appalachia and I never heard any of them use the word. They said, “I’m from West Virginia.” You wouldn’t expect someone from Denver to say “I’m from the Rockies” or someone from Hot Springs to say “I’m Ozarkian”.

Wiki Star

PO stalwart Dave DaBee (David DeBronkart to his other friends) is on Wikipedia. Check out the wonderful work he’s doing on behalf of patient participatory medicine.

Stupid Cheap

Our computer should come back from the shop today, we hope with some of the files still intact, years of work. The computer guy told us two or three times that he backs up everything before working on a computer, but he didn’t, and he screwed it up further while he fixed the original problem, then wanted to charge more money for partially restoring our files. Fred changed his mind about that.

We had backed up files at one time and another using Mozy and Norton 360. Mozy says I cancelled my account in October, which I didn’t and had no reason to do since it was a free service. Norton (Symantec), instead of answering a query, automatically renewed the service subscription. Haven’t heard back from them yet otherwise.

I bought a flash drive for the laptop and we’ll probably buy a backup hard drive for the desktop, which is what the low life computer guy calls “stupid cheap”: it’s cheap and it’s stupidly simple, but it works. I’m advising all of you to back up in more than one way. We’ve just experienced three different kinds of backup failure at the same time.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A war without uniforms

Besides the political motivations for doing so, treating jihadists like individual criminals is understandable only...

We the People, not We the Perfect, and definitely not We the Media

Friday, January 1, 2010

The announcer for today's Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena wound up the Tuskegee Airmen float entry by...

Have an Independent and Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

As the Cincinnati Independent Examiner, I wish you all a Happy and Independent New Year, no matter who you vote...

Restavek: Help child slaves in Haiti in the New Year

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Cincinnati is home to the Restavek Foundation, started by Jean Robert Cadet, who was once a child slave in Haiti....

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2009. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.