Parvum Opus 331 ~ Euphemism, Miscue, and Oxymoron

Look Who Tipped Up

New reader from England, Charlie F., found part of the PO discussion of “Flat Foot Floogie with the Floy Floy” which inevitably led to numerous e-mails running off in all four directions, but I’ll just pass on two. He sent this from Time’s online archive:

Authors of The Flat Foot Floogie with the Floy Floy, Slim Gaillard and Slam Stewart, do not know themselves what the words mean. Said Slim: "We were sort of talking a new language." The dance they had vaguely in mind was to be done flatfoot. "When we put the floy floy on it, that was extra business. You got the whole dance right there; you're
swinging. See what I mean?"

Actually I was searching for a clip of the number because someone on the BBC 'Word of Mouth' message board had randomly queried what a floozy was. Being somewhat gobsmacked that anyone should need to ask what a floozy is or was, I thought I might just just muddy the water further, by virtually singing a chorus of the 'flat-foot floozy with the floy floy'. I googled for a youtube clip or the lyrics and discovered my error. Not floozy but floogie!
So I thought, what's a floogie? Come to that, what's a floy floy? So I tipped up at your site, as well as Time Magazine's archives, via the OED (where floogie doesn't rate a mention) and floy as your British chum found has no bearing on the song.
Note the new (to me) expression: tipped up. I guessed it might be a boating term but it’s not. Charlie wrote, “Over here you can rock up and slope off too,” and then sent “tip up” usages from the OED: something like “tiptoe”.

As for “floogy”, listening to the song by Slim Gaillard on YouTube, I discovered that the G in “floogie” is pronounced like J in jam, not G in good, making it a bit closer to the sound of “floozy”. I can’t find etymology for that word either, though yourdictionary.com links it to “flossy” — kind of fluffy and light.

Then on to “mad”. Charlie used the phrase “mad keen cyclist”. I said “mad” has been taken up rather recently as slang (often in Overheard in New York), used as an adjectival intensifier. “Madly” should be the adverb in “mad keen cyclist” and the adjective in something like “mad drunk” (very drunk), but it’s an adverb: very keen, very drunk. Charlie’s example from 1487 shows the basic meaning of crazy or angry, in an adverbial position (modifying the adjective):

Dronkenes maketh men to be somme mery dronken and somme mad dronken. (Skelton 1487)

Euphemism, Miscue, and Oxymoron

From Bryan Garner's Usage Tip of the Day:

Minor woman — an odd combination of euphemism, miscue, and oxymoron — displaces a more natural wording such as "girl," "female minor," or, if the sex of the person is obvious, "minor." E.g.: "His reference to a 'mature' woman means he does not favor the right of a minor woman [read 'minor'] to choose to have an abortion without parental or judicial consent." Susan Yoachum, "Wilson Campaign Sticks to Familiar Topics," S.F. Chron., 2 Nov. 1990, at A21.

I get that “minor woman” is both a miscue and oxymoron, but why is it a euphemism? A euphemism is a word that softens a harsh reality, like “pass on” for “die” or “schnockered” for “mad drunk”. But what’s indelicate about an underage female, and why would “minor woman” be a softer term? Is there a word for calling something normal or neutral by a harsher name?

During the crest of the feminist reworking of language, we started saying woman instead of girl or young lady. The word woman demanded more respect, though to my ears it sounded strange for a long time, less polite, too sexual, too coarse, or even vaguely insulting. I’m glad the word was reclaimed. I didn’t want to be a [little] girl forever and I didn’t always feel ladylike. Woman worked.

But the more radical feminists also called females under 18 women. The thinking was that young girls ought to be able to “decide what to do with their bodies”, as if teenagers have very good sense about making life-altering decisions. I know I didn’t. People don’t automatically become adults (women and men) just because they’re legally allowed to drink. We don’t use “woman” to refer to a girl who’s just entered physical puberty, even if she gets pregnant at the age of 13.

If I had a minor daughter, I’d be suspicious of anyone who referred to her as a woman. The purpose seems to be to kick the children up to the level of adult autonomy as well as premature independence from their parents. Adults who want children to be legally able to do everything adults do often have questionable motives.

The 4-H Club

2-H: Harry H. asked about the origins of human speech, but I haven’t studied that and don’t have a good guess. The secular or scientific view, which is what he’s wondering about, is that the brain has a built-in language capacity, but that doesn’t explain how or why it kicked in with the very first human word. As Harry pointed out, occasionally children have been found who’ve grown up in the wild, or in solitude, and they didn’t develop language on their own. Some animals can supposedly be taught words or symbols, but they don’t do this independently. So what was the first word? (Or logos?) Ancient writing has been found, but no prehistoric audio record. Who knows, maybe someday we’ll be able to pick up and identify sound waves from the first speaking humans, beamed back to us from outer space.

Harry also told me about a program to teach your baby to read.

2-H: Herb H. wrote:

I thought last week that you were not exactly complete in your remark about pronunciation of cou-pay and coop. Radio announcers in the 1940s always seemed to say cou-pay, and we were taught in school that radio announcers were good authority on pronunciation. … The voices that carried forward the story lines in the detective shows would say that the mysterious blonde was picked up by a gray cou-pay and we heard the engine as it drove away, winding up through the gears, voooooooooom, um, voooom, um, vooooooo* . . . Always two shifts. And you might remember in Bonnie and Clyde, when the pair encountered young WC working in the gasoline station. Bonnie asked WC if he knew what kind of car they were in. He said sure, it was a nineteen thirty-two Ford cou-pay. Bonnie so no, it was a STOLEN nineteen thirty-two Ford cou-pay.

But it seemed to me that in America, car name pronunciation was determined and promulgated by car dealers. And car dealers assiduously pursued an air of ignorance. Gradually I came to understand they were about making the prospective customer comfortable. Chev-row-lay was kind of hard to say. Any attempt to deal literally in the American tongue with the word spelled "Chevrolet" would be even worse. Dinah Shore could sing, "See the USA in your Chev-row-lay," but without exception, dealers and their salesmen said "Chev - o - lay." Well, in the same way, far as I ever heard, every one of them said "coop." More commonly, because a lot more of them were made, it was "club coop."

Many decades ago in Columbus, a Chev-o-lay dealership up on the north edge of town was named for the two owners. It was Mahlon - Maxton Chevrolet. Mahlon was turble embarrassed about such a tongue-unfriendly name spelling. They advertised every morning on AM radio, but still the public hesitated over that "Mahlon." In time, the two owners terminated their partnership. Maxton took over the business and continued the advertising with the slogan, "Jack Maxton, what a great, great guy," and always said Jack Maxton Chev-o-lay. Mahlon wanted his own dealership. I don't think they had focus groups in those days, but he wanted a better business name and he didn't want a total divorce from his old family name, so he became Bobby Layman Chev-o-lay, out on the west edge of town. And NOBODY sounded more ignorant in a radio commercial than Bobby Layman.

* Shouldn’t that be “vrooooooooom”? I guess people who say “Che-vo-lay” have cars that go vooooom.

Vigorous Twit

President O said the Iranian election has led to “vigorous debate”. I’m not sure how many people so far have been vigorously debated with by bullet or axe.

Dave DaBee wrote, “Somebody put out a perfect tweet Monday: Tienanmen + Twitter = Tehran. Perfect because of the sharp-eyed message, the alliteration, the terseness, and that random soul's ability to get it heard (and retweeted).”

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

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Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

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Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Back issues from December 2002 may be found at http://www.geocities.com/keithops/; 2009 issues are at http://cafelit.blogspot.com.. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2009. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Parvum Opus 330 ~ Vigariously Larcenious

Who is Larcenia? what is she, that all our pols commend her?

Larcenia Bullard is a Democratic Florida state senator. Perhaps her choice of career was a foregone conclusion; her name directed her thataway. (Note: A Google search turns up other people named Larcenia. Why?)

However, her having been raised in a vocabulary-impaired home is throwing additional stumbling blocks in the path of the Florida legislature as they wrestle with the terms of a new anti-bestiality law. Larcenia thought animal husbandry had something to do with human-animal marriage.

“So that maybe was the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?” she asked, referring to a tragic chimpanzee-killing in Connecticut.

Perhaps it won’t be long before marriage will be redefined to include human-beast marriage. As I mentioned last week in the context of pet cemeteries, many people already think of their pets as their babies. Just carry the logic a little further.

But I’m not going any further than the marriage of true minds.

Coupe

Dave DaBee says, “fwiw, My dad, lover of classic cars, always said coop not coopay.” Fred also says he never heard coopay. I know I’ve heard coopay but maybe it was meant to be a joke. However, I really don’t remember hearing coop for coupe, but that means nothing.

The French have a lot to answer for.

I Get It

I’m not the earliest adopter of new technology though I don’t drag my feet forever. So when Dave DaBee jumped from blogging to Twitter, I thought that’s OK for him because he has the nervous system of a hummingbird, but I can’t work within 140 characters. But I decided I should at least know what Twitter is, so I signed up and decided to use it to announce new editions of Parvum Opus and my Amazon Kindle publications.

Monday, Twitter changed my mind about the value of this nervous little addition to our suite of communication streams. On Monday afternoon I happened to notice that the election in Iran and its subsequent riots were being reported, as far as I could tell, only via Twitter. Obviously no Western journalists were permitted to cover the news. Very little appeared on TV except for Obama’s reluctant response. Just as newspapers lag behind TV and radio, TV and radio necessarily lag behind the Internet.

People in Iran were sending out messages via Twitter and trying to keep ahead of government attempts to cut communications. They reported names of people who were shot and other news items, briefly, to be sure.

Messages were coming in the #IranElection category at the rate of about 2,000 per hour, it seemed, although many of them were from Americans and others outside Iran conveying support and information about how the Iranians could circumvent the closing of web portals.

Twitter had been scheduled to shut down that night for 90 minutes of maintenance and upgrade, but users (including me) begged them to postpone it so that the Iranians could maintain some contact with the outside world — and Twitter (and its service provider) delayed maintenance! Hooray for them!

She Got It

From Overheard in New York:

Old woman with husband, reminiscing: When I was younger I had an art degree from Cooper Union, had a fantastic graphic design job. I had a great career going for myself. And then guess what happened.
20-something girl: You got married?
Old woman, shocked: No! How old do you think I am? That we're from the 1800s? (pause) Computers. That's what happened.

They Didn’t Get It

It’s not easy keeping up with technology, so you can say almost anything if it’s said with enough assurance.

Once Fred and I drove from Boston to Cincinnati in separate vehicles, with me in the lead. Fred got pulled over by a trooper who said in New York State you can’t drive in the middle lane (huh?), plus you’re not allowed to use cell phones while driving. They discussed the lane issue but Fred was a bit vague about the phone (we talked to each other at times while driving) and somehow the trooper got the idea that we had walkie-talkies, which he thought was a good idea. Cell phone bad, walkie-talkie good. Go figure.

More recently, Fred caught some flak from a woman in the building where he works who complained that he should have opened the door for her instead of standing around sending text messages. He said, “That’s not my job, and I wasn’t texting, I was checking e-mail.” Somehow that mollified her.

They’ll Get You

Committee to Protect Journalists (CPJ) reports China's announcement that personal computers sold from July 1 must carry Internet-filtering software pre-installed by the manufacturer. Presumably hackers can find ways around this software, but most people don’t have those skills.

In the mainstream media here, the pretty young women journalists who get arrested get the most media notice, such as Roxana Saberi, Laura Ling, and Euna Lee, but CPJ reports on the many journalists imprisoned and killed all over the world. Here’s CPJ's list of "10 Worst Countries to be a Blogger":

Burma

Iran

Syria

Cuba (http://desdecuba.com/)

Saudi Arabia

Vietnam

Tunisia

China

Turkmenistan

Egypt

Sometimes bloggers can publish via external blog sites (such as desdecuba, “from Cuba”).

Dave Says Ugh

Dave DaBee discovered a hideous new portmanteau word, “vigariously”, reported in Trouble with “Vigorously” and “Vicariously” in Daily Writing Tips. The portmanteau word was named by Lewis Carroll in Alice in Wonderland. Portmanteau is an old-fashioned word for suitcase, and a portmanteau word packs more than one meaning in a word. It seems that vigariously is getting popular among bloggers but whether it’s from ignorance or intention is not clear, since it’s used incorrectly to mean either “vigorously” or “vicariously”, not both. The meanings of “vigorous” and “vicarious” are not even close (so it’s not truly a portmanteau word; I just wanted to bring that up). DWT says “vagariously” (with an A) is a word, meaning marked by vagaries, but it’s rare (I’ve never seen it) and isn’t the cause of this confusion. Probably one person used a word incorrectly and someone else liked the sound of it and it spread. Like a virus. Ugh.

So, You Want to Be a Writer? Movie Director? River?

Another conversation from Overheard in New York, in a coffee shop:

Guy #1: May I presuppose what I think you're trying to articulate, which is, that the core universality of your character's arc needs to be explicitly emphasized in the color palate?
Guy #2: I think that's fair, but I'm not sure you can go there with an audience.
Guy #1: But isn't the whole narrative journey bringing them there?
Guy #2: Yes and no. Essentially we can't bring them there, because we can't get there ourselves.
Guy #1: Hmmm, I'm not sure if I agree with that.
Guy #2: We can't get there. Our protagonist can't get there, he can't bring us there with him.
Guy #1: Where?
Guy #2: The river.
Guy #1: Why is he going to the river?
Guy #2: Because that's — that's — that's the thing. That's the thing he has to do. It's like, he is that river, and that's why we go to a wide-shot there.
Guy #1: I do see the wide-shot there, but I think we need more exposition for the catharsis to work.

Reminds me of the Nicolas Cage characters, twin brothers who were very different kinds of script writers, in the movie The Orchid Thief (which was quite different from the book). I’d agree that you need a whole lot more exposition to make a character be a river. Nicolas Cage 1 might say if he can be the river, the audience can be the river. Nicolas Cage 2 might say, throw him in the river with some alligators and see what happens.

Road Trip

Heading out on the highway for a few days, to Ak-Ron. See you next week at the old stand, as usual.

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Back issues from December 2002 may be found at http://www.geocities.com/keithops/; 2009 issues are at http://cafelit.blogspot.com.. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2009. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Parvum Opus 329 ~ Shut 'Em Down

Fun, Fun, Fun

Good stuff from the car songs.

Mike Sykes noticed that in “Little Deuce Coupe”, coupe rhymes with soup. True. But in general conversation it’s Chevrolay coo-pay in the USA.

Harry H. wrote:

Lotta Moxie, the name of one of the Rubber City Roller Girls. My cousin and I went in April to their first match at John S. Knight Center, downtown. Lotta Moxie was his favorite. Barbonic Plague was mine. There was also Harriet Beacher A ss and other assorted team member names. . . .
Also, my cousin was really into cars. But not the normal kind. He worked as a mechanic with Akron's Art Arfons and on his Green Monster. Traveled to Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah with Art.
Electric car by Tesla Motors. Now we need a song about this 0 to 60 in 3.9 second electric (marvel) car that goes around 300 miles on a single charge (I believe there is a clip of Arnold Swartzennnnhopperer driving one). [Note: I want one as soon as they reduce the price 90%.]

Herb H:

Did you sell Grit? I did. Might've been the only one who ever did that in Fairfax, about eighth grade. They printed little coupons in comic books, for kids to send in. It was the tabloid newspaper size in the early 50s, no color in it anywhere that I recall.

Perhaps you'll get a ton of responses on the hot rod vocab, and if so there'll almost certainly be a fair portion of them that are incorrect. . . . I'll only touch what seem to me the more esoteric.

"Souped up!" Doesn't that seem odd? There was never a time when people threw soup on their engines. A fair guess might be that "souped up" was about adding some goodies to the fuel one is burning, to get more power. Later on, beginning in the 50s, dragsters commonly burned "nitro," in the "fuel" classes. In that case the engines were set up to burn methanol (wood alcohol), so that they could mix in liberal additions of nitromethane for a lot more power. Hotrodders who were constrained by having to burn gasoline could also add "nitro" in the form of nitrobenzene — not as successful and not broadly popular. Nitromethane was not miscible with gasoline, but was with alcohol. Nitrobenzene was miscible with gasoline, but there was only one nitro group on a pretty big benzene molecule.

But that's not the origin of "souped up," anyway. "Souped up" refers to electrical modification, electricity being "soup" or "juice" in the early days. As the pioneers set about making their Model T Fords go faster than the other feller's, the ignition system was a severe limitation — producing a hundred or more hot sparks per second was a real challenge.

Other versions of "Hot Rod Lincoln" said it had twelve cylinders, rather than eight. Originally, that was probably the point of the "Lincoln." Like Packard and Cadillac, some models of Lincoln had V-12 engines. They didn't make good hot rod engines to put into a Model A, though — way too heavy.

"With 4.11 gears you can relly get lost" is terminology that street rodders would understand. Getting lost was running away from a police patrolman so that he couldn't find you. The 4.11 gears would help to accelerate very fast, not to go fast on the open road. The way to get lost was in the city making many turns and rapid accelerations, gaining a little bit more with each maneuver until the pursuer no longer could tell which way you went. . . . Around 1959 there was a kid named John Render who lived in Madeira, whose father loved hot rods and indulged the son — limitlessly it seemed. They were commonly encountered at the drag strips. John had a Deuce Coupe and that was okay, but a really nifty Deuce Roadster became available in the area and John Sr bought that also for John Jr. Jr "modified" it in an afternoon by taking off all the fenders and the top — it already had the go-fast mods — then went out fast driving. Jr knew he could get lost from a cop, but I guess he didn't know they had radios and lots of "backup." The police reported they had 21 road blocks set up at one time. They caught him.

The number 4.11 is the gear ratio in the "rear end," or differential, the most important factor in whether you were geared to accelerate fast or to go faster at top speed after you got through accelerating. A 4.11 rear end had 9 teeth on the pinion gear and 37 teeth on the ring gear. 37 divided by nine gives 4.11. Driving around with a 4.11 meant that when you did get out on the open road, your engine was beating itself apart at a very high engine speed for just a fairly high road speed. The cure was an overdrive unit, which reduced the overall gear ratio and let the engine turn slower at highway speed.

In Little Deuce Coupe, my guess is the term "till the Lake Pipes roar. . . " will wrinkle some brows. The term has some history. Drag racing at drag strips grew slowly to enormous proportions by the late 1950s. There had always been drag racing on the roads since Model T days, but the hot rodding competition that got the most press in the 40s and perhaps earlier was high speed racing off the road. Across the country there was very little opportunity to do that. But in southern California, there were dry lake beds, big flat areas where prehistoric lakes had been, dried hard and smooth. One group built racing cars especially for the purpose of going as fast as they could against a clock, out on these dry lake beds. Those cars were called "lakesters." Many of them didn't actually have a car body, but had a fabricated body made from big aircraft fuel tanks and the like, as streamlined as anything the hot rodders might imagine. A driver might actually drive in a prone position with just rudimentary controls.

But a larger number of hot rodders wanted to test their cars against similar cars in slower "classes." They wanted to drive out to the lake beds, compete there, then drive home. One of many adaptations was in the exhaust system. The most powerful arrangement, least power-losing configuration, was a straight exhaust pipe with no muffler of any kind. These competitors soon made exhaust pipes that went straight out the sides and back with no mufflers, but had caps that could be bolted onto them. Additional piping was provided to take the exhaust gases from those short straight pipes when the ends of the pipes had been capped off, passing the gases through mufflers that would quiet them enough to be street legal. Those were called "lake pipes." And the name survived long after the dry lake beds were made off limits to hot rodders. (I think Edwards Air Force Base incorporated the dry lake bed land.)

"Shut you down!" From drag racing in classes, class eliminations. The loser is through racing for the day. He's shut down. The term spread, probably in microseconds, to apply to losing any race anywhere any time. From "Little Old Lady From Pasadena":

"All the guys want to race her from miles around

But she'll give 'em a length and she'll shut 'em down."

Adjunctivitis

You might be able to catch a movie called Flunked, about the dismal state of education, but it’s not playing around here. In fact nothing is playing within 5 or 10 miles since the nearest movie theater, in the upscale mall near us, just closed. I thought they might rebuild with stadium seating, but no; it will be replaced by a clothing store, which is OK, but every once in a while we need the big screen.

One Party Classroom by David Horowitz is worth at least a quick perusal.

Although the situation hasn’t helped me personally, it struck me that a possible good may come from the universities’ hiring so many “adjuncts”, i.e. temporary teachers, rather than professors on the tenure track with steady jobs and benefits. It’s almost impossible to get rid of a tenured professor who turns out to be an idiot, a liar, a plagiarist, and a scholarly no-show, such as Ward Churchill. I almost said an embarrassment, but the university that hired and promoted him is not embarrassed by him. The academic system and the ACLU make it almost impossible to fire a bad professor, even if he got in on false pretenses. Years ago I taught and took graduate courses at a university that was rumored to be home to a tenured professor who was a Nazi. But disposa-profs are not a problem. That’s not the university motivation for this policy, it’s all about money, but it’s an ill wind etc.

Papyrus

Dave DaBee twittered this cartoon about and for typography geeks. I’m one of those who likes the Papyrus font, however.

The Measure of a Man

I’m happy to report that “the rule of thumb” is not about how big a stick you can use to beat your wife. It most likely refers to the length of the first joint of the thumb rather than thickness: about an inch. (Do you think the first joint is from the thumbnail up or from the hand down?)

Sentences We Didn’t Finish

To paraphrase The Weekly Standard, here’s an Amazon book blurb I didn’t care to finish reading:

This book compiles the most lively expressions of nonduality, which are the understanding that existence is one undivided whole and that the daily distinctions we make within this unity are useful, but not ultimately . . .

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Back issues from December 2002 may be found at http://www.geocities.com/keithops/; 2009 issues are at http://cafelit.blogspot.com.. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2009. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Parvum Opus 328 ~ Grit

Grit

Grit Magazine has been published continuously since 1882. They don’t know where the name came from, but grit of course means moxie, which is what we need more of now. This is my Grit issue. Like Grit Magazine, it’s cheerful.

Engrish Revisited

Tom S. sent me back to Engrish.com. I couldn’t tell you why this sign from Malaysia particularly caught his eye. I liked a coaster found at 100-yen shop, which must be like a dollar store.

Happy tomorrow comes

aims at happiness

Even what that extends

the leaf fast thinking

of tomorrow is not

prevented and either it

expands fast fast

Used

Mike Sykes responded to “the priest does use to come very much to John Fortescue’s house”, pointing out that —

We might, however, say "he is used to coming", with a slightly different shade of meaning, better illustrated by "my family are quite used to my beard".

Mike does have a beard. And he’s English, which is why he uses “family” as a plural noun. Anyway, here “used” has the -d on the end so the form as well as the meaning is a bit different.

A Toast to Cuba Libres

The first grown-up drink I ever ordered was in Monterrey, Mexico. I was 17 and went with my Spanish high school teacher, the late and much appreciated Ellen Rowe, and five other students to stay for a month with various families. Our hosts took us to a club in the city and someone suggested I order a Cuba Libre — rum and coke — “Free Cuba” (“free” being an adjective). In those days I drank a lot of Coke so I ordered it and it was good. (Does that sound Hemingwayesque? I thought not.)

Yesterday Henrique from Peru told me that now, when you go to Puerto Rico, if you ask for a Menterita they give you a Cuba Libre. “Menterita” means “little lie”.

Here are the Andrews Sisters singing “Rum and Coca Cola”, a cheery song about corruption in old Cuba. If you think the situation has changed, you are mistaken.

Nite Lite

One of those familiar complaints about English is why we say we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway. Someone wrote in to an advice column in CinWeekly explaining those words very well. I paraphrase: A driveway is a private roadway from the street through private property to a building that allows you to drive up instead of having to walk up. A parkway is a road through a green area, i.e. park. See?

Not quite the same, nevertheless this reminded me of a place I worked long ago, the gorgeous but now defunct Peninsula Nite Club in Peninsula, Ohio. It had three rooms, a dining room (fancy), peanut room (a bar and an old clawfoot bathtub full of peanuts and shells on the floor), and ball room (disco ball, bandstand). A great place. The rule was no peanuts were allowed in the ballroom and no balling was allowed in the peanut room.

No Soap

What we call poor in the U.S. is usually meaningless. I don’t have much money but I live in a way that kings couldn’t conjure up in the past. Except for the fact that they had servants, I live better. I can travel long distances affordably in my car. We have fantastic electronic equipment. We have electricity and good plumbing, and I lately I’ve been showering with scented shampoo and three different soaps, for a total of four different perfumes, all quite cheap.

According to Wikipedia, “the Latin word sapo simply means "soap"; it was borrowed from a Celtic or Germanic language” (usually the borrowing goes the other way). It’s inexplicable to me how humans first discovered mixing lye (from water and wood ash) with fat to make soap; imagine coming up with that product accidentally and then deciding to apply it to your skin.

My Baby, My Doggy

On the radio this week, Michael Schaffer, author of One Nation Under Dog: Adventures in the New World of Prozac-Popping Puppies, Dog-Park Politics, and Organic Pet Food, talked about changes in pet cemeteries. In the Victorian era, markers were likely to say something like “Faithful Servant”. In the 1950s, they were more likely to say “My Best Friend”. Today, many markers say “My Baby” or “My Little Boy” or “My Little Girl”. This is not progress.

Regarding the 19th century faithful servants, I don’t care if you think pethood is degrading to the animal and call your cat Foofy your “animal companion”. We may be servants to our pets at times. Our interdependence often rises to friendship.

And pets definitely are not substitutes for children. I am not my kitty’s mommy. Years ago I took in a cat whose owners, a young married couple, had to give it up because they were moving into an apartment that did not allow pets. They were crushed, they said; kitty Christa was like their child. Wrong. I never considered giving away my sons because an apartment wouldn’t take children.

Do You Know Where Your Geography Teacher Is?

From Overheard in New York:

Teen girl #1: It's really hard to understand my biology teacher because he's from Vietnam.
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: My biology teacher is Vietnamese.
Teen girl #2: Oh, I thought you said he was from Vietnam!
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he is.
Teen girl #2: The planet?

Deal

If you buy a book from them, you can get a year’s free subscription to The Vocabula Review.

Car Songs

Car songs are not the same as driving songs, such as Ventura Highway, Willin’, Mustang Sally (Ride Sally Ride), Freeway of Love (Pink Cadillac), etc. In classic car songs, driving is involved, but car songs which were big in the golden age of cars muscle cars and hotrods had a specialized argot about street racing or drag racing or dirt racing, and about the engines. Here are lyrics from a few of the best. Listen to them on YouTube, but maybe you shouldn’t play them in the car. You’ll be inclined to tap that accelerator in time to the music. I’m marking specialized terms but won’t explain them (except deuce coupe). A few of them even I understand. If you’re into cars, you probably know them all. If not, it doesn’t matter, or you can look them up. Keep in mind that hot rod culture and the lingo aren’t what they were because the cars have changed.

Hot Rod Lincoln, Charlie Ryan

Have you heard this story of the Hot Rod Race

When Fords and Lincolns was settin' the pace

That story is true, I'm here to say

I was drivin' that Model A

It's got a Lincoln motor and it's really souped up

That Model A body makes it look like a pup

It's got eight cylinders, uses them all

It's got overdrive, just won't stall

With a 4-barrel carb and a dual exhaust

With 4.11 gears you can really get lost

It's got safety tubes, but I ain't scared

The brakes are good, tires fair

Now the fellas was ribbin' me for bein' behind

So I thought I'd make the Lincoln unwind

Took my foot off the gas and man alive

I shoved it on down into overdrive

Wound it up to a hundred-and-ten

My speedometer said that I hit top end

My foot was glued like lead to the floor

That's all there is and there ain't no more

Now the boys all thought I'd lost my sense

And telephone poles looked like a picket fence

They said, "Slow down! I see spots!

The lines on the road just look like dots"

We had flames comin' from out of the side

Feel the tension, man, what a ride!

I said, "Look out, boys, I've got a license to fly"

And that Caddy pulled over and let us by

Now all of a sudden she started to knockin'

And down in the dips she started to rockin'

I looked in my mirror; a red light was blinkin'

The cops was after my Hot Rod Lincoln

They arrested me and they put me in jail

And called my pappy to throw my bail

And he said, "Son, you're gonna' drive me to drinkin'

If you don't stop drivin' that Hot Rod Lincoln!"

Little Deuce Coupe, Beach Boys

Per Fred, whose brother-in-law was into drag and dirt track racing: A deuce coupe was a 1932 Ford, much prized because it was easy to modify.

…You don’t know what I got.

Little deuce coupe
Just a little deuce coupe with a flat head mill
But she'll walk a Thunderbird like it's standin' still
She's ported and relieved and she's stroked and bored.
She'll do a hundred and forty in the top end floored
She's my little deuce coupe
You don't know what I got

She's got a competition clutch with the four on the floor
And she purrs like a kitten till the Lake Pipes roar
And if that aint enough to make you flip your lid
There's one more thing, I got the pink slip, Daddy

And comin' off the line when the light turns green
Well she blows 'em outta the water like you never seen
I get pushed out of shape and it's hard to steer
When I get rubber in all four gears

409, Beach Boys

Shes real fine my 409…

Well I saved my pennies and I saved my dimes
(giddy up giddy up 409)
For I knew there would be a time
When I would buy a brand new 409

Nothing can catch her
Nothing can touch my 409

When I take her to the track she really shines
She always turns in the fastest times
My four speed dual quad posi-traction 409

Note: Posi-traction figures into the plot of the movie My Cousin Vinny.

Shut Down, Beach Boys

Tach it up, tach it up
Buddy gonna shut you down

It happened on the strip where the road is wide
(Rev it up, now)
Two cool sharks standin' side by side
Yeah, my fuel injected Stingray and a four-thirteen
Were revvin' up our engines and it sounds real mean

Declinin' numbers at an even rate
At the count of one we both accelerate
My Stingray is light the slicks are startin' to spin
But the four-thirteen's really diggin' in

Gotta be cool now power shift here we go

Superstock Dodge is winding out in low
But my fuel injected Stingray's really startin' to go
To get the traction I'm ridin' the clutch
My pressure plate's burnin' my machine's too much

Pedal's to the floor hear his dual quads drink
And now the four-thirteen's lead is startin' to shrink
He's hot with ram induction but it's understood
I got a fuel injected engine sittin' under my hood

Shut it off, shut it off buddy now I shut you down

______________________________________________

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and now also on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is a novel about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

10% discount on my Lulu publications:

Browse to: http://www.lulu.com/landing/lulu_coupon_10?a=4001629

Click "Buy" and enter 'BESTSELLER10' at checkout.

Save 10% on your order.

NEW PRODUCTS:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Back issues from December 2002 may be found at http://www.geocities.com/keithops/; 2009 issues are at http://cafelit.blogspot.com.. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2009. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.