Parvum Opus 377: English Display

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

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FOOTNOTE TO AN ERA

I wrote about Germaine Greer’s book Shakespeare’s Wife in PO 319 (how long ago it seems now, April 2009), and last week browsed around on YouTube for Greer and found her giving a talk on the book, which made me feel as if I should give the book another shot. She wrote that Anne Hathaway probably supported William Shakespeare in his career, perhaps even paid for publication of the first collection of plays, on top of tolerating his long absences in London. But at about minute 55.45 through the lecture, she said something rather startling to one raised on The Female Eunuch:

“I’m hoping we can continue to be interested in the way great talent is nourished and supported. I’m prepared to admit most of it is male. It’s mostly male display. But that little brown bird scratching around next to that great extraordinary gamecock is the reason why he’s there.”

Hardly an explanation for the source of genius.

So much of “women’s studies” has been devoted to trying to find evidence that women’s writing, for instance, is actually different from men’s, that perhaps there is even a “female” sentence structure. Greer founded a program at The University of Tulsa called Studies in Women’s Literature, and a journal called Tulsa Studies in Women’s Literature. Virginia Wolf’s A Room of One’s Own said there could have been no female Shakespeare because women could never have been as free as a man in those days and so on. Feminist scholars often seemed resentful and embarrassed that there has been no female Shakespeare, but they couldn’t in good conscience change their standards as much as public school teachers have, and say that reading the dead white males isn’t as important in Western culture today as studying otherly sexed or tinted minor living poets.

So by March 2009 Greer has come around to saying genius in men is “male display”—which is a way of trivializing it.

VANITY VANITY, NOT ALL IS VANITY

Two recently spotted vanity license plates:

WOO PIG

DRAWN IN

The obvious question is, what kind of vanity is involved here, if any?

PDF

I will not try sending PO as a PDF file again. It’s useless in posting to the web, and as for e-mail, lawyer Dea Robertson explained:

From my browser, (I'm using Google Chrome), one click gets me to the links that are spread throughout your articles. It's easy to do with just one click from any browser. In Acrobat's PDF, I have to wait for the program to come online and I use the professional version instead of the Reader. Sometimes, I'm still waiting when I've finished reading the article. Also in PDF, I have to strike the Ctl and click the mouse if I want to jump into another link, like to one of your news articles, or over to Dave the Bee's site. But before I can even do that, I have to save the PDF download on my hard drive. Not that I am superstitious, just that I'd rather save it on somebody else's hard drive like Yahoo's than I would mine. Besides, they can afford to upgrade the virus checkers better and faster than I can and it's cheaper that way. Besides, PDF works better when one is transporting important legal forms that have to be printed such as a contract or something for the IRS or the courts. PDFs give a reasonably accurate reproduction and if it’s something like that, I'm using Parvum for evidence. Even then, the judge will use a monitor from the bench.

Thanks for the detailed deconstruction, Dea. Of course sometimes PDF files are useful so it’s good to be able to produce them easily and at no cost. Dave DaBee says that Bullzip is another good PDF program.

ALL TEACHING IS ENGLISH TEACHING

Some people think all learning—literature, history, etc.—is political. Not so.

"The mother-tongue differs in one respect from all other subjects of study. It is not only an end, but the vehicle, of instruction. For this reason all teaching is English teaching, and every school exercise may be made, and should be made, an English lesson." Nicholas Murray Butler, Introduction to Percival Chubb's The Teaching of English xx (1902).

QUOTES, MARKS, UNNECESSARY USE OF

Dave daBee found a great site all about unnecessary quotation marks (quotes, for short).

In case anyone asks you, remember that quotation marks are not one of the ways we emphasize words. In hand-writing, we can write in all caps or underline or even use a highlighter. With a typewriter, we can underline and write in all caps. With a computer, we can be our own typesetters and use italics and bold face type. But in no case are we to use quotations marks for emphasis.

Quotation marks indicate (1) a quotation, someone else said or wrote this (He said, “Go for it.”); (2) the word is foreign or odd in some way (The Spanish word “simpatico” appeared in today’s crossword puzzle.); (3) you don’t really mean it (Coffee is my “speed”.); (4) you’re actually ridiculing the word or idea, when quotes are also called scare quotes and mean “so called” (The Tea Party “constitutional patriots” held a rally.). And we’re not even discussing whether these usages constitute good style.

As fate would have it, Dave Barry’s column appeared in my e-mail today featuring my favorite expert, Mr. Language Person, who weighs in on quotation marks, among other things. Coincidence? Perhaps.

Dear Mister Language Person: What is the purpose of the apostrophe?

A. The apostrophe is used mainly in hand-lettered small- business signs to alert the reader that an "S" is coming up at the end of a word, as in: WE DO NOT EXCEPT PERSONAL CHECK'S, or: NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY ITEM'S. Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when creating hand-lettered small- business signs is that you should put quotation marks around random words for decoration, as in "TRY" OUR HOT DOG'S, or even TRY "OUR" HOT DOG'S.

Or even TRY OUR “HOT” DOG’S, or TRY OUR HOT “DOG’S”.

CEREAL COMMA

Back to the serial comma, I still don’t know of a rule saying a modifier at the end of a sentence modifies only the final element in the series (Laugh, Sing, and Eat Like a Pig—laugh like a pig? sing like a pig?), but in discussing the problems of ambiguity, Wikipedia uses an erroneous example:

My usual breakfast is coffee, toast, cornflakes and bacon and eggs.

According to the two most plausible interpretations of this sentence, four foods are listed; but it is uncertain which are the third and fourth: adding a serial comma removes this ambiguity. With a comma after bacon, the foods are:

Coffee

Toast

Cornflakes and bacon

Eggs

With a comma after cornflakes:

Coffee

Toast

Cornflakes

Bacon and eggs

There are five foods, not four. Bacon and eggs are two, though they may be paired, or grouped in a series of two (i.e. one element of a series may be a compound or even another series). But unless it’s a bacon omelet, it’s two foods.

THE BALLAD OF FRANKIE SILVER

The Ballad of Frankie Silver is a good novel by Sharyn McCrumb, based in part on a real crime in 19th century North Carolina. Movies are being made about the story (not her novel), and you can watch acomplete documentary online, featuring Bobby McMillon, a descendant of one of the original families. McMillon lives in the Appalachians and has a strong and distinctive accent, with some bits of rare vocabulary thrown in.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Running clean elections takes a lot of work

John Williams, who is running for Juvenile Court Judge in Hamilton County, spoke to a meeting of the Eastern Hills Tea Party in Madeira, Ohio, last night about his experience as Director of Hamilton County Board of Elections, when the 2008...

Critical legal studies, free will, and voting

Pat Fischer, who is running for judge on the Hamilton County Court of Appeals, spoke last night to a meeting of the Eastern Hills Tea Party in Madeira, Ohio, on "critical legal studies" versus "strict constructionism."...

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BIOGRAPHY

Buy Sonny Robertson’s intro biography on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue, at CafePress. (Note that if the text on the spine is misaligned, it’s the fault of CafePress, not me.) Also, four of his early pre-blues R&B dance songs are now on YouTube. Search for Sonny Robertson + The Tabs. Music CDs available at sonnyrobertson.com/buy, where you can buy with PayPal.

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Amazon now has a downloadable Kindle reader if you don’t have the little handheld device. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel. PRICE REDUCED.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella. PRICE REDUCED.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: If you have problems viewing this site, try a different browser.)

NEW:

CLICK TO EMBIGGEN boxer shorts

ESCHEW OBFUSCATION bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list.Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

LINK HERE TO LOOK FOR BOOKS ON AMAZON.COM!

Or click on underlined book links.

ELSEWHERE

Parvum Opus now appears at http://cafelit.blogspot.com/. It is also carried by the Hur Herald, a web newspaper from Calhoun County, West Virginia. See Editor Bob Weaver's interview with me (February 10, 2007 entry), and the PO every week in Columns.

WHEN SONNY GETS BLUE! At last, the first installment of Sonny’s biography is out on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue at CafePress.com/sonnyrobertson. Check out the video and music clips of great blues man Sonny Robertson and the Howard Street Blues Band at http://www.sonnyrobertson.com/ and http://www.youtube.com/rondaria, with his new original song, "A Different Shade of Blue". Listen to Judy Joy Jones’s interview with Sonny.

PEACE MISSION INDIA blogs the progress of Pastor Roy Jacob’s mission to build churches in India. Now 79, Pastor Roy (who is an Indian) has built 10 churches, and has a girls’ school to rescue girls from the mountains and jungles who otherwise might be married off as children or perhaps sold.

SEARCH IT OUT ON AMAZON : "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter." Proverbs 25:2;

"Get wisdom! Even if it costs you everything, get understanding!" Proverbs 4:7:

The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is not composed of atoms, but stories. The physicist Werner Heisenberg said the universe is not made of matter, but music.

Parvum Opus 376: Brief Solo

PARVUM OPUS

Number 376

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

Minty Fresh

I must have heard this on the radio somewhere since I made a note of it on my phone recorder:

“A group of freshly minted widows” [in World War II].

One of the worst tropes ever. Most people who are newly widowed don’t feel as bright and shiny as a new minted coin.

CutePDF

You probably have the free Acrobat Reader to open PDF files, but the Adobe software for creating PDF files is expensive. A friend just turned me on to a free program called CutePDF which she says works well (and downloads safely) to convert files to PDF. She uses it to send lengthy Word documents because there are so many versions of Word floating around that her friends may not always be able to read hers, or at least won’t get all the formatting. I might try it myself. I’m always afraid that even an em dash won’t transmit correctly in e-mail, so I avoid them. I will test drive it with this PO.

When it downloads, you won’t find an icon for the program. You convert your file by going to Print and selecting CutePDF as another printer, and then saving the file as PDF.

Rathole Books

PO reader Tim Bazzett has a new book available at Rathole Books, called Booklover: A One-Year Journal of Reading, Reflecting and Remembering. Sounds interesting. If you’re in the area, go to his talk/reading/book signing at Great Lakes Book & Supply at 840 Clark Street in Big Rapids, Michigan, this Sunday, September 19, between 3:00 and 4:30 PM.

Refudiating Wee-Wee

Sarah Palin made up a word, perhaps accidentally, what Lewis Carroll might have called a portmanteau word: refudiation, a combination of refute and repudiate. It calls to mind various Bushisms, such as misunderestimate. Compare to a coinage of Obama’s, to get wee-weed up, that is, to get worked up over controversy.

Eek

In a Forbes.com article by Claudia Rosett:

Not that I learned this from Rauf, whose Malaysian office staff told me by phone on Tuesday that "All media requests have to go through his office in New York." Nor did his New York colleagues simply volunteer information about his imminent trip to the Middle East. It took a series of phone calls and questions to eke it out of them.

You cannot use “eke” this way. We’ve heard about “eking out a living” which means to supplement a scanty income in some way. It means augmenting something, and has even at times meant “plow” or something to do with beekeeping. While its use has gotten sloppy over the centuries (“He ekes out a living as a five million dollar a year quarterback”), it cannot mean to pry something out.

Date of Expiry

I always regret not subscribing to Vocabula.com every time I get an e-mail with tantalizing opening paragraphs from their current articles. In this clip from Perspiring over Expiry by Sarabjeet Garcha we find a kindred soul who pays attention to quirks of language even at memorial services:

In November 2007, I was in my hometown, Nasik, Maharashtra, to attend a gathering commemorating my grandfather's first death anniversary. We assembled in a local gurdwara, which I noticed had been recently renovated. Now, I love everything about a place of worship even if at times I am convinced that the world is losing its share of selfless worshippers. ... What was thought to be my undying love for unsung godmen was in reality my irrepressible zeal to photograph a grammatical error: on the bottom left of the frame was written "Date of Birth," while on the bottom right was a phrase that's very familiar to not only pharmacists but also laypersons: "Date of Expiry." Perhaps they forgot to include a "best before" date, I wondered….

The King’s English

I’m re-reading The King’s English by Kingsley Amis, not the book of the same name by the great Fowler nor even by Betsy Burton, who runs a bookstore by that name. Amis’s book repays careful reading. A few samples:

Amn’t I: We’ve discussed “amn’t I” as a variant of the unacceptable “ain’t I” but I never believed in it. However, I ran across it in a novel by M. C. Beaton, Death of a Gentle Lady. The story is set in Scotland but I think the usage was placed in the mouth of the nasty Englishwoman who got murdered. Anyway it exists, somewhere, and Amis discusses it under the heading “Aren’t I”. After a detailed analysis, he writes:

One attraction of my theory is the ill-natured glee it brings to believers in it when they hear some unreconstructed pedant struggling to say amn’t I. I remember that the late A.J. Ayer* was one of these.

*Writer, philosopher; not clear if he’s the pedant or the gleeful believer, but probably the former.

Happening: Remember the hippy happenings, supposedly spontaneous free-form assemblies? (The only one I ever went to was as organized as a six-year-old’s birthday party with similar planned activities, in a reserved section of a city park.) Amis says the word has had at least two previous historical incarnations: “in the 1950s [it] referred to some event like the planned break-up of some impossibly vulgar art exhibition or somebody undressing at somebody’s else’s boring party”; and it was “a descriptive term of the Edwardian era.” The current spiritual heir of the happening is the flash mob, though it’s not the same thing.

Feed a cold and starve a fever. Amis says people misunderstand this as two separate imperatives, but his interpretation is also incorrect. He says it’s a conditional, meaning if you feed somebody with a cold, then he will develop a fever and then you will have to starve him (as if that’s a common remedy for a fever). But I read another explanation that makes more sense to me. It comes from an ancient German or Saxon saying, that if you feed a person who has a cold, you will kill (or prevent) a fever. Starve comes from an old Saxon word meaning to kill (sterb).

Me and Them

You can have a chunk of your writing analyzed in a little online program that tells you what famous writer you most resemble. I pasted in something or other, probably from PO, and came up with James Joyce and Ian Fleming. It’s been a while since I’ve read either of these but I don’t think I write much like either one, especially in PO, and they seem different from each other, as I recall. But you might like to try it, at iwl.me.

The Lessons of Literature

This is from Moby Dick, 1851:

And, doubtless, my going on this whaling voyage, formed part of the grand programme of Providence that was drawn up a long time ago. It came in as a sort of brief interlude and solo between more extensive performances. I take it that this part of the bill must have run something like this:

Grand Contested Election for the Presidency of the United States

Whaling Voyage by one Ishmael

BLOODY BATTLE IN AFFGHANISTAN

The Comma Question Deferred

I got more feedback about the question of the serial comma, but it will have to wait till next edition, which I hope will appear in a more timely manner. I don’t know why after more than seven years of almost automatic weekly production, this summer PO slipped out of gear.

For one thing, it could be that I’ve done so much typing this summer that my brain confuses it with writing. I have been transcribing hundreds of letters given to me by my late high school Spanish teacher; there will be a book. Over the years several people’s lives have fallen into my hands unexpectedly, starting with the trove of abandoned photographs I found in an empty house in Florida when I was 15. Decades later, I located a family member whose uncle had lived in that house, and mailed the photos off to England. Some years ago a friend who was dying sent me his poems, which I published in a little book. I have produced the beginnings of an audio autobiography (which I hope will morph into a full book), listed below, by Sonny Robertson.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Use symbolic threats to Koran to curb real violence

September 14, 2010

Terry Jones, the Florida pastor who threatened to burn a copy of the Koran, lit a conflagration fueled mostly by dry b.s. on all sides. …

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BIOGRAPHY

Buy Sonny Robertson’s intro biography on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue, at CafePress. (Note that if the text on the spine is misaligned, it’s the fault of CafePress, not me.) Also, four of his early pre-blues R&B dance songs are now on YouTube. Search for Sonny Robertson + The Tabs.

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Amazon now has a downloadable Kindle reader so you don’t have to spend hundreds on the little handheld device. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

______________________________________________

Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Link here to look for books on Amazon.com!

Or click on underlined book links.

ELSEWHERE

Parvum Opus now appears at http://cafelit.blogspot.com/. It is also carried by the Hur Herald, a web newspaper from Calhoun County, West Virginia. See Editor Bob Weaver's interview with me (February 10, 2007 entry), and the PO every week in Columns.

WHEN SONNY GETS BLUE! At last, the first installment of Sonny’s biography is out on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue at CafePress.com/sonnyrobertson. Check out the video and music clips of great blues man Sonny Robertson and the Howard Street Blues Band at http://www.sonnyrobertson.com/ and http://www.youtube.com/rondaria, with his new original song, "A Different Shade of Blue". Listen to Judy Joy Jones’s interview with Sonny.

PEACE MISSION INDIA blogs the progress of Pastor Roy Jacob’s mission to build churches in India. Now 79, Pastor Roy (who is an Indian) has built 10 churches, and has a girls’ school to rescue girls from the mountains and jungles who otherwise might be married off as children or perhaps sold.

SEARCH IT OUT ON AMAZON : "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter." Proverbs 25:2;

"Get wisdom! Even if it costs you everything, get understanding!" Proverbs 4:7:

The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is not composed of atoms, but stories. The physicist Werner Heisenberg said the universe is not made of matter, but music.

Parvum Opus 375: Post-Literate World

PARVUM OPUS

Number 375

Dulce, utile, et decorum est pro patria scribere

______________________________________________________________________

Use Your Library

One of the ways to use your local public library is to get them to buy books you want to read. Most libraries accept suggestions for purchases, whether via online form or in-person paper form. I recently suggested that the Cincinnati library purchase the new book by our friend and reader Dave deBronkart, Laugh, Sing, and Eat Like a Pig, based on the blog he wrote during his year-long bout with cancer. If and when the library buys the book, they’ll notify me. You might do the same at your library, and ask anything else you want to read.

Post-Christian, Post-Literate World

Heard on TV news:

There was a bomb threat at Lourdes on the Feast of the Consumption.

I’m no expert on the church calendar and I did look this up: there is a Feast of the Assumption, but not the consumption. Maybe the news reader was thinking someone went to Lourdes to be healed of tuberculosis?

Witless Script

Cheers mailman Cliff Clavin said:

Every day I have to trade wits with the Flanagan’s dog.

We may match wits (compete) with a dog, but even Cliffie didn’t trade his wits with a dog.

Another One for the -Ages

Kathy Robinson-Taylor (find her Beason News column at the Hur Herald) added this to the –age list: tunage, meaning music, not fish.

By the way, Dave DaBee wrote:

I assert that suckupage is suck-u-paj, and he meant suckuppage.

Hmm. OK. Maybe.

Onion Teleology

On a radio cooking program:

Yellow or white onions are meant to be cooked with, they’re not made to be eaten raw.

Unless you’re talking about hybrids, you can’t really talk about what vegetables are meant for. We may prefer to cook with the stronger tasting white and yellow onions, and perhaps the milder red onions and Vidalias were hybridized. But once you start talking about what onions are meant or made for, you’re getting close to saying God created them for a particular purpose. Could be true, but you might as well say a pig’s ribs are meant to be barbecued. I think they are, but the pig doesn’t, and who knows about the Creator?

Computip

Ever wish you could unsend a hasty e-mail? It’s sort of possible. There are two ways. If you use Outlook Express, all sent mail goes to a holding file called Sent and you have to go through another operation to actually send it.

Gmail now has a beta function that gives you a tiny window of opportunity to unsend mail, but you have to be quick, there are only a few seconds between hitting the send button and the actual transmission. In Gmail, go to Settings at the top right corner of the page. Go to Labs. Look through their list of new features in beta (experimental) stage and enable Undo Send. Then when you send a message, a yellow box appears briefly above the mail where you can click Unsend. Of course I usually think of unsending something about 24 hours too late.

More in Sorrow

This may be the first time I’ve ever disagreed with the righteous Anne deBronkart. In the last PO I wrote:

Remember Dave’s book, Laugh, Sing, and Eat Like a Pig: Fred wondered if the last comma in that series affects the meaning, that is, does the comma make it mean, or not mean, laugh like a pig, sing like a pig, and eat like a pig. In this case, I happen to know that Dave sings in barbershop quartets so he doesn’t sing like a pig, and doesn’t laugh like a pig. Eating like a pig remains.

Anne replied:

This seems like an "argument" that cannot be won. Obviously, as what you might call a traditionally-trained punctuater (read "old fashioned" - a fine drink, by the way), I'm in the minority here with my adherence to the comma after the last item in a series. F'rinstance:

Laugh, Sing and Eat Like a Pig = Laugh however you want, but Sing and Eat like a pig? Whereas Laugh, Sing, and Eat Like a Pig = Laugh (like a hyena, if you wish), Sing (like a nightingale, if you can), and Eat like a pig ...

All due respect to Fred, but I think the last comma makes a difference BECAUSE the Laugh and Sing then are freestanding, so to speak, not included even by implication in the "like a pig" phrase... I also enjoy Old Fashioneds, which bartenders don't know how to make these days, so I may well be out of luck in both the punctuation and drink categories. More's the pity…

Maybe the argument cannot be won but it can be continued. I think it's possible to attach one modifier to a string -- you can do it in the front ("She wore a blue dress, hat, and shoes") so why not in the back (“like a pig”)? I never heard a rule about having to repeat a modifier for every element. However, if you don’t repeat it, the meaning may be ambiguous.

Let’s all hoist an old-fashioned* on this one anyway.

* Bourbon, bitters, splash of water, sugar, maraschino cherry, orange wedge. Sounds good to me.

This and Thatage

Mike Sykes sent a bit of this and thatage:

· On disgruntled: I've certainly heard of someone being in need of regruntling, though not often.

· And I've certainly heard of someone being considered not very couth.

· We used to cross to France on a cross-flannel cherry.

· I'd never heard of “dilemna” either, until just last week, when I read:

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-dil1.htm
(World Wide Words is always good.)

· On mixed singles and doubles: I've seen it said by someone I respect that "they", "their" will soon follow "thou", "thine" in being acceptable as a neutral singular as well as plural.

The Loser Letters

Mary Eberstadt wrote a book called The Loser Letters satirizing recent vehement anti-God ‘n’ religion books by Hitchens, Dawkins, and the rest. Someone on the side I learned that enthusiastic atheists have a web site for Brights, as they call themselves, people who believe in what they call natural but not in what they call supernatural. Pretty much saying I’m smart and you’re dumb, nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah. Wouldn’t you feel a bit embarrassed to form a club and call yourself the Brights or the Good Lookings or the Superiors? Anyway, if you register on the web site you can call yourself a Bright too. Meanwhile, you may be a Dim.

Live Mocha

Live Mocha is a web site where you can learn a language free by exchanging e-mail with people who speak another language; you correct each other’s mail. Find out more at the NY Times.

The Weekly Gizzard: Moi on Examiner.com

Feds strong arm Cuyahoga County elections board

August 26, 2010

Jennifer Rubin reported in the August 23, 2010 Weekly Standard that the Justice Department has launched an attack on the elections board of Cuyahoga County, Ohio, because its Puerto Rican population supposedly requires ballots in Spanish. …

New York Muslims should rebuild Saint Nicholas

August 21, 2010

The Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church in New York City was crushed when the World Trade Towers fell on 9/11. For various reasons they still haven't been able to rebuild the small church. Meanwhile, a big mosque is planned …

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BIOGRAPHY

Buy Sonny Robertson’s intro biography on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue, at CafePress. (Note that if the text on the spine is misaligned, it’s the fault of CafePress, not me.) Also, four of his early pre-blues R&B dance songs are now on YouTube. Search for Sonny Robertson + The Tabs.

ONLINE PUBS

I’m publishing for the Kindle digital reader with Amazon and on Lulu.com for download to computer and for printing. Amazon now has a downloadable Kindle reader so you don’t have to spend hundreds on the little handheld device. Most of these titles are available in both locations. Search for Rhonda Keith on Amazon.com Kindle store and Lulu.com.

The Man from Scratch is about cloning, escort services, murder, and restaurants in Akron, Ohio, featuring Roxy Barbarino, writer for Adventuress Magazine. Novel.

A Walk Around Stonehaven is a travel article on my trip to Scotland. Short article with photos. (Lulu.com only.)

The Wish Book is fantasy-suspense-romance featuring the old Sears Roebuck catalogues. Novella.

Carl Kriegbaum Sleeps with the Corn is about a young gambler who finds himself upright in a cornfield in Kansas with his feet encased in a tub of concrete; how would you get out of a spot like that? Short story.

Still Ridge is about a young woman who moves from Boston to Appalachia and finds there are two kinds of moonshine, the good kind and the kind that can kill you. Short story.

Whither Spooning? asks whether synchronized spooning can be admitted to the 2010 Winter Olympics. Humorous sports article.

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Cats: One woman's tale of menopause, in which I learn that the body is predictive; I perceive that I am like my cat; and I find love. Autobiographical essay.

Parvum Opus Volume I. The first year (December 2002 through 2003). You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll get PO’ed. Collection of columns.

NEW PRODUCTS in CafePress:

Scot Tartans: T-shirts and more (custom orders available).

T-Shirts & mug: FRESH PICT, with two ancient Pictish designs

BUMPER STICKER: FRESH PICT, white on blue, with 10th Century Pict-Scot Merman Cross (blue on white also available)

SIGG WATER BOTTLE, ORGANIC T-SHIRTS IN GREAT COLORS, MINI-CAMERAS, DENIM SHIRTS, MUGS, TOTE BAGS, MOUSE PAD, TEDDY BEAR, AND MUCH MORE AT Parvum Opus CafePress shop: (NOTE: There are problems viewing this site with Firefox but Earthlink seems OK.)

NEW: Click to Embiggen boxer shorts

Eschew Obfuscation bumper sticker

FRESH PICT items

Graphic covers of my books

Dulce, Utile, et Decorum (Sweet, Useful, and Proper), title of new collection of Parvum Opus, Volume I

BUMPER STICKER: Dulce, Utile, et Decorum

No Pain, No Pain

Star o’ the Bar

Veritas Vincit (Truth Conquers) with Keith clan Catti insignia

Flash in the Pants

If you're so smart why aren't you me?

PWE (Protestant Work Ethic)

I am here maternity tops

I eat dead things (doggy shirt, pet dishes, and BBQ apron)

If you don’t see exactly what you want — a particular design or text on a particular item — let me know and I’ll customize products for you.

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Trivium pursuit ~ rhetoric, grammar, and logic, or reading, writing, and reckoning: Parvum Opus discusses language, education, journalism, culture, and more. Parvum Opus by Rhonda Keith is a publication of KeithOps / Opus Publishing Services. Editorial input provided by Fred Stephens. Rhonda Keith is a long-time writer, editor, and English teacher. Feel free to e-mail me with comments or queries. The PO mailing list is private, never given or sold to anyone else. If you don't want to receive Parvum Opus, please e-mail, and I'll take you off the mailing list. Copyright Rhonda Keith 2010. Parvum Opus or part of it may be reproduced only with permission, but you may forward the entire newsletter as long as the copyright remains.

Translate into 12 languages, including two forms of Chinese, using Babelfish.

Link here to look for books on Amazon.com!

Or click on underlined book links.

ELSEWHERE

Parvum Opus now appears at http://cafelit.blogspot.com/. It is also carried by the Hur Herald, a web newspaper from Calhoun County, West Virginia. See Editor Bob Weaver's interview with me (February 10, 2007 entry), and the PO every week in Columns.

WHEN SONNY GETS BLUE! At last, the first installment of Sonny’s biography is out on CD, When Sonny Gets Blue at CafePress.com/sonnyrobertson. Check out the video and music clips of great blues man Sonny Robertson and the Howard Street Blues Band at http://www.sonnyrobertson.com/ and http://www.youtube.com/rondaria, with his new original song, "A Different Shade of Blue". Listen to Judy Joy Jones’s interview with Sonny.

PEACE MISSION INDIA blogs the progress of Pastor Roy Jacob’s mission to build churches in India. Now 79, Pastor Roy (who is an Indian) has built 10 churches, and has a girls’ school to rescue girls from the mountains and jungles who otherwise might be married off as children or perhaps sold.

SEARCH IT OUT ON AMAZON : "It is the glory of God to conceal a thing: but the honour of kings is to search out a matter." Proverbs 25:2;

"Get wisdom! Even if it costs you everything, get understanding!" Proverbs 4:7:

The poet Muriel Rukeyser said the universe is not composed of atoms, but stories. The physicist Werner Heisenberg said the universe is not made of matter, but music.